


I'll Love You to the Moon

by a_small_town_duck



Series: I'll Love You to the Moon [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Gay Sirius Black, High School, M/M, Nobody dies in this part, The only real violence is in dreams, Walburga hits Sirius, Walburga sucks at being a mom, and dogs, my heart can't take that, there's a lot of pining, there's so much wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2018-08-09 18:59:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 24,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7813429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_small_town_duck/pseuds/a_small_town_duck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus Lupin has moved to a new city to escape his past self. Here he hopes to just live a normal life, find a pretty girl, and not get bullied at school. But when can his life ever be normal for him? His life turns upside down again when he meets James Potter, and his incredibly hot friend, Sirius Black. And little does he know that his past is slowly catching up to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New Beginnings

_Darkness closes in around you. Your heart is pounding faster and faster as you try to run through the darkness. You find yourself in a dark forest, tall trees surrounding you. You are hopelessly lost. There’s a low growl in front of you, but you can’t turn back. The growling gets louder until you are knocked to the ground. You look up and there’s the source of the growling, a black dog with its claws digging into your shoulders. Its eyes are a deep blood red and dark liquid drips from its teeth. Surely it will kill you. You cannot help but let out a scream as it dives for your neck._

Remus awoke with a start. His chest was heaving harshly and his heart felt like it would beat out of his chest. He reached for his throat and gulped, making sure he was not actually bleeding out. The nightmares had been more frequent, more graphic. They felt more real. His breathing was still shaky as he slipped out of bed. There was no way he could go back to sleep now, despite how tired he was. Besides, he had to get up for school soon anyway. Being awake wouldn’t hurt him. Being awake meant he did not have to dream about monsters or dying.

              Quietly, he made his way to his bedroom window and looked out at the horizon. It was a soft pastel purple lined with the soft orange glow of the sun. He liked the sunrises better than the sunsets. Sunsets meant that the moon would rear her ugly head but the sunrises meant that his nightmares were over. They meant a new day. Of course, today was the start of something different, something new. It was his first day at a new school. A new beginning. A new life. A new sunrise. He was transferring from his old high school in the middle of October. Maybe he was just having nightmares because he was worried about attending a new school. His nerves were eventually calmed as he gazed out at the morning sky. The sun warmed his face as it climbed higher and higher, transforming the night into day. He would have to get ready for school in a moment, but for right now, he wanted to watch the sunrise.

              The loud beeping of his alarm clock broke him from his pleasant reverie and he pulled himself away from his window to get dressed. A warm cardigan was soon pulled over his small frame and he gazed at himself in the mirror. His curly mop of brown hair looked decent enough, and he knew it was nothing a hood couldn't fix. He gazed over a scar that was just below his lip but it did not look too noticeable. At least, he hoped it was not too noticeable. He did not want people asking questions about his scars. His scars were his only ties to the past he wanted to escape from. However, today was the birth of a new Remus, whose scars were just from stupid accidents.

              It was quiet in his house as he padded around. Remus figured that his parents were still asleep, so he kept his footsteps light and soft so as not to wake them. His footsteps, however, as light they may have been, were heard on the old, creaky staircase. He really hated these steps. They always sounded like they were shrieking when he stepped on them. It was an eerie, grating sound that hurt his sensitive ears. A sigh of relief escaped his lips when he finally reached the bottom step before he walked into the kitchen to make himself breakfast. The only sound that could be heard was the ticking of the toaster. The silence let Remus think about his dream.

              He could still feel the sharp claws digging into his chest and he could still see every single fang when he closed his eyes. A shiver ran down his spine and he took a deep breath to calm his heart again. Why did that dog want to kill him? Did it have something to do with his old life? Ever since he left his old town his dreams had been plagued by nightmares. In every single dream, there was that black dog, but this was the first time the dog actually attacked him. Normally it would just watch him from a distance while the other monsters chased him. Why did it attack him then? Why not earlier? Remus was thrown from his thoughts by the toaster telling him that his toast was ready. It was just a stupid nightmare and he needed to stop worrying about it.

              Remus looked down at his wristwatch and realized he was going to be late if he did not leave soon. He grabbed his bag and his partially burnt toast before leaving his house, gently closing the door behind him. The morning air was cold, but not freezing. It was a comforting sort of cold that wrapped around Remus as he made his way to school. He saw other students making the same journey and he offered them shy smiles as he walked past and he was soon standing at the steps of his new school. That was when his fear began to come back and he wished he had just stayed home. 

The big steps seemed to tower over him, causing his stomach to twist and churn. He felt fear rising in his chest and his throat began to constrict. He was scared already. He was a transfer student, and a nerdy looking one to make things worse. Remus knew he would get bullied, he could feel it. People gave him odd looks as he stood there motionless, feeling like he would throw up his toast. After a few moments, he slowly made his way up the steps and walked through the doors. Looking around, he could see that this was some kind of rich kid school. Why was everyone so tall? They turned their heads and whispered as they watched him walk past. That black dog seemed like a better alternative to this school at the moment.

“Hey! Are you the new student?” A loud voice sounded in Remus’s ear, causing him to jump.

Turning to look at the voice, Remus came face to face with a rather excited looking boy wearing a leather jacket over a white button down shirt. That was…odd. He looked over the rest of the boy, not really listening to what he was rambling about. He had dark skin that was covered in freckles and curly black hair. Round glasses sat atop his nose, further contrasting with the leather jacket. It was like this boy was trying way too hard to be punk.

“Oi! Earth to the new kid! You in there?” The boy said again, looking at him with a smirk.

“S-Sorry…I was lost in thought…” Remus looked down at his shoes as he spoke.

“Not a problem! My buddy gets lost in his thoughts all the time too. You looking for the headmaster’s office? I can show you there!”

Without a choice in the matter, Remus was dragged off with this odd boy. He was rambling about something he and his buddy had done. What was his buddy’s name again? Sirius? He kept talking about this boy Sirius who he constantly pulled “legendary” pranks on the “preps.” No offense to him, but Remus thought the boy looked awfully preppy himself. The way he walked just screamed, “I’m the best and I know it” and Remus did not know if he liked him or not. He was overbearing and loud and it just made his nerves all jumpy again.

“Potter! Quit terrorizing the new student!” A loud female voice called to him.

A girl with dark red hair approached them and gave an apologetic look towards Remus before glaring at the boy supposedly called “Potter.” She was pretty skinny and covered in as many freckles as James. Her outfit was neat and tidy but there was a pencil sticking out of her messy bun and a pen was perched behind her ear. There was blue ink covering her fingers and there was a little bit on her face as well. She seemed to be pretty fiery from the way she was chastising Potter.

“Evans, I was just being nice and showing our new student to Dumbledore’s office.”

“Well, you’re being way too overbearing! I bet you don’t even know his name!” Evans seemed to spit the words.

“Did you ever realize how pretty you are when you’re mad?” Potter ran his hands through his already messy hair as he spoke.

“You are an idiot!” She barked as she smacked his cheek before turning to face Remus, who flinched. “Sorry about him, I’ll show you to the headmaster.”

Remus followed Evans through the hallway, leaving James standing dumbfounded. Evans turned her head to look at Remus again before sighing softly. Her hazel eyes reflected the light and they seemed full of passion.

“I’m Lily, Lily Evans, what’s your name?” She questioned, her voice softer now.

“Remus Lupin…It’s nice to meet you,” Remus replied awkwardly.

“Nice to meet you too. Headmaster Dumbledore is just through here. Hopefully we’ll have some classes together. You don’t want to hang out with the wrong sort like James Potter. Well, I have to go. I’ll see you around!”

She walked away, leaving Remus alone at the door to the front office. Slowly, he walked in, and found the most terrifying looking boy he’d ever seen in his life. He had long, black hair that seemed loaded with product. His grey eyes were lined with black eyeliner, making them look even more intense. Remus noticed that he wore a similar leather jacket to Potter’s but this boy looked like a genuine bad boy. He reminded him of the dog in his dream.

“Kid? You alright?”

Remus felt like he was going to faint.


	2. Sirius Black

              _You stare around you. The room is completely black. You try to feel around for something, anything, but there is nothing there. Only your breathing is audible. Your breath is shaking and it’s becoming colder around you. If only you could get warm. You feel over your arms but your fingers have gone numb from the cold. Why is it so cold? You hear a voice behind you and you run towards it. It sounds scared and frightened. You have to reach it before it’s too late! But by the time you collide with the source of the voice, he’s dead. Your gaze is drawn to the crimson liquid that drips from your fingers._

Sirius opened his eyes slowly when he was awakened from his nightmare. It wasn’t anything too scary but it still left him shaking. Why the hell was he shaking? He’s had worse nightmares than that but something about the dead boy left him feeling afraid. Who was that boy? He had no time to ponder the questions that flooded to his brain as his alarm clock started blaring music at a high volume. A few seconds later and his mother began shrieking at a higher volume. He let out a loud groan before rolling over and turning the music up to try and drown out his mother. Damn woman needed a mute button.

              “Sirius Orion Black! Turn off that infernal music before I get your father!”

              He wait a moment before sighing and turning the alarm clock off. It was about five in the morning but he didn’t feel like getting up just yet. The bed felt so warm and comfortable, making him wish he could stay wrapped up in his cocoon of blankets forever. However, his mother started yelling again so he dragged himself out of bed. It didn’t take long for him to get dressed, donning his signature black leather jacket once he was finished. Sirius looked like the very definition of a bad boy.

              Once he had finished getting ready, Sirius walked down the stairs to the kitchen where his angry mother stood in her black, satin robe. Her high and arched eyebrows, which looked drawn on, were furrowed in an angry scowl. In Sirius’s honest opinion, he thought she looked like a harpy, and she sounded like one too. No amount of beauty sleep could ever be enough for her. Sirius raised an eyebrow and looked over at her, getting ready to completely ignore her when she opened her mouth.

              “How many times have I told you not to blast your horrible punk music in the morning?” she interrogated with a harsh voice.

“Well, I use it as an alarm clock…you know, so I’m not late in the morning?”

              His sassy retort was met with a raised hand. Sirius clenched his jaw and glared into his mother’s eyes, daring her to lay a hand on him. Their standoff seemed to last ages until Regulus, Sirius’s little brother, walked into the kitchen. They turned away from each other before the situation escalated any further. Sometimes, Sirius wondered how long it would be before his parents hurt him. So far, it had only been threats but he could feel the tension growing between them.

              “Don’t be late for school.”

“Whatever.”

              Sirius walked out of the kitchen before storming out of his house. He was greeted with the cool morning air that seemed to counteract the anger that had boiled within him after the confrontation with his mother. Those confrontations had become more frequent, more heated. They had become much more frightening as well. How long would it be before they got physical? How long would it be before they completely bent him to their will? There was no way he could resist his parents forever. He was just left to wait.

              However, today, they hadn’t laid a hand on him and he was thankful. He had soon calmed down as he made his way to his best friend’s house. They always walked to school together. Ever since they met they had always walked with each other. It was almost as if they were brothers, maybe even closer. Sirius plopped down on the steps leading up to his friend’s house. It wasn’t long until a rather excited boy ran out of the house.

              “Mornin’ James…” Sirius said lazily as he gazed up at James, happy to see his friend.

“You’re here early, that’s a first,” James responded, pushing his round glasses up his nose, “Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing is wrong. I just got up early and got bored of waiting around at home.”

“Was it your mum? I keep telling you that-”

“I don’t want to talk about it!” Sirius snapped, cutting James off.

“Alright… So did you hear about the new student?”

“New student?”  Asked Sirius, now interested.

“Yeah, he’s gonna be at school today. I hope he’s nice and not some stupid rich kid…”

“James, we are literally rich kids.”

“You know what I meant!”

              Sirius laughed at James and gently punched his shoulder. They walked to school together talking about the new kid and, of course, Lily Evans. It was no secret that James had a huge crush on Lily Evans but he always failed to capture her attention. Sirius tried to be a good wingman but James always ended up rejected. It wasn’t his fault though. James had a pretty huge ego and he was kind of an idiot whenever Lily was around. Poor James. The pair soon ended up at school and saw their friend Peter. They called him over and hung out by James’s locker, waiting for the bell to ring.

              “Do you think McGonagall found the little “present” I put in her office yet?” Sirius looked up at James with a devilish smirk when he heard loud shouting from down the hallway.

              An older woman came out of her office with an eerily calm expression. She made her way over to Sirius and his friends, casting a stern gaze over her glasses. It was like she knew exactly who the culprit was. Of course, it wasn’t hard to figure it out, as James and Sirius were known for their legendary pranks. McGonagall glared down at Sirius and was met with a smirk.

              “Mr. Black…Do I really need to tell you again?”

“No, you _siriusly_ need to tell me again,” Sirius responded, looking rather proud of himself.

“Just go to the office,” she said, trying not to raise her voice.

              Sirius sauntered over to the office, smirking as he did so. He knew that he’d have to pull an even better prank the next time but for now he was just going to take whatever stupid detention he was given. Of course, James would probably pull an even better prank and end up in the same detention with him, most likely dragging Peter with him. They were an inseparable group of friends, pulling legendary pranks and making Sirius’s life just a little bit more bearable. On his way past the secretary, Sirius gave her a wink before sitting in a chair outside of the Headmaster’s office. That was when possibly the most adorable boy he had ever seen walked through the door.

              He had messy, light brown curls, some of which fell into his face and rest on his forehead. His eyes seemed sunken in but still somehow caught the light that filtered in through the window. A large sweater seemed to almost reach down to the boy’s knees and the sleeves completely covered his hands. It only served to enhance the innocent look on his face. However, the boy seemed to pale and sway where he stood.

              “Kid? You alright?”

              That’s when the boy collapsed onto the floor. Sirius quickly rushed over to him and tried to make sure he was okay. He kept calling to him trying to get him to open his eyes. When the secretary ran off to grab the nurse, the boy on the ground opened his eyes. Sirius could’ve sworn he’d seen those eyes before.


	3. The Marauders

Remus opened his eyes and was greeted by a pair of grey ones. The boy he had seen in the leather jacket was now kneeling next to him, staring down at him with a concerned expression. However, the boy relaxed slightly seeing that Remus was awake. As he lay on the ground, Remus noticed other features about the boy with a leather jacket. Like how soft his shoulder-length black hair looked as it framed his face or how pretty his grey eyes were. And…was that a hint of eyeliner? Remus’s heart fluttered. Wait. Why was his heart fluttering?

              He noticed that the boy was gripping his shoulders rather tightly and he thought of how the black dog’s claws dug into his skin. Suddenly, this boy looked a lot like the dog in his dream. His vision became blurry and he started breathing heavy, feeling like he would pass out again. What was going on? It was like the dog had followed him into the real world. Daylight was supposed to be his safe haven from everything that plagued his mind. It was supposed to protect him from the monster inside of him. Remus was shaken quite literally from his hellish hallucination by the boy.

              “Hey! What’s wrong? Don’t pass out again, please!” he shouted with a very concerned expression.

“St-Stop shaking me!” Remus was dropped rather unceremoniously back on the floor with a loud thud.

“I’m sorry! What the hell happened to you? You just passed out when you looked at me.”

“I…I don’t really know. It hasn’t happened in….I don’t know.”

              The boy helped him sit up and Remus took deep breaths as he tried to calm himself down. After a moment his breathing returned to normal and the color returned to his cheeks. He was no longer shaking as violently as before but he still had vivid visions of the hellish black dog from his dream. Why did this boy remind him so much of the dog? Remus never really believed in dreams, but now he was beginning to believe that the dog was some kind of omen. He shook his head to clear it before looking back up at the boy.

              “So uh…” Remus began, as he tried to break the awkward silence that had fallen between them, “I’m…I’m the new student. My names Remus…Remus Lupin…”

“Sirius Black. Nice to meet you.”

“Sorry I worried you…I didn’t mean to…”

“Yeah, you meant to faint when you saw me. It must be because of how hot I am,” Sirius rolled his eyes as he replied rather sarcastically to Remus.

              Sirius let out a soft chuckle after speaking and Remus couldn’t help but smile back at him. There was something about Sirius that made him particularly pleasant to be around. His eyes crinkled at the sides when he smiled and he flashed a toothy grin. Unlike James and Lily, Sirius didn’t make Remus feel completely out of place. He felt oddly comfortable around the boy now that he was recovered from fainting but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

              Moments later, the school nurse showed up and made sure Remus was okay. As she was checking on him, however, Sirius disappeared into the headmaster’s office. He tried to mask his disappointment but he was obviously deflated. Soon, he was cleared to go to class and he made his way to his homeroom. He felt his throat close up when he saw how big his homeroom was. Remus had come from a rather small school so he wasn’t used to being in such a big class, so he quietly made his way to the back of the classroom to avoid drawing attention to himself. Luckily for him, everybody was so invested in their own conversations that they didn’t notice him. Except for one boy.

              Potter, the boy he had met earlier, just so happened to be sitting in the seat in front of Remus. He turned around to see Remus and flashed a wide grin. How could that boy have so much energy in the morning? And what was his obsession with talking to him?

              “Hey! It’s me! From earlier? I never introduced myself. I’m James Potter,” he said as he extended his hand.

“I’m Remus…”

“No need to be shy, Rem. I won’t bite, I promise.”

              Remus thought that James seemed nice enough but he really wasn’t in the mood to talk. He just was way too overbearing and extroverted that it intimidated Remus. Of course, he wanted to make friends but after the awkward conversation and fainting, Remus wasn’t in the mood to talk to anybody. He bit his lip slightly and gazed out the window for a moment before looking back at James.

              “I’m sorry…I haven’t had a good morning…”

“Oh…I’m sorry for bothering you. I’ll back off but if you ever want to talk…”

“...Thank you…wait…I just have one question…Do you know a boy named Sirius Black?”

              James physically seemed to change when Sirius was mentioned and Remus instantly regretted asking. His eyes seemed to glitter and the boy’s smile spread across his entire face.

              “Sirius is my best mate and he is like the master of pranks! We’ve been best friends since we started school here and honestly there’s no one else I would hang out with except for Peter and Lily. Like Sirius is the best wingman and all the ladies love him, except Lily but she doesn’t really go out with people except for that stupid Snivellus. Snivellus is such a bully and he hangs out with those elitist assholes. I don’t know what Lily sees in him. But Sirius pulled an awesome prank on him the other day. He filled his locker with-”

              He was cut off by a stern glare from the professor up at the front of the classroom. Her vibrant eyes were clearly visible through her glasses but they could not mask the fire in them. The whole room went quiet and Remus felt chills run down his spine. She was pretty intimidating and Remus shrunk down in his seat to avoid her gaze. It wasn’t long until Sirius sauntered into the classroom and sat down in the desk next to him. The professor began to take attendance and Remus listened to the names, dreading when his own name would be called.

“Black, Sirius.”

“Why so formal?”

“Mr. Black, shut up.”

“Fine, fine.”

Sirius looked over at Remus with a smirk and winked at him. Remus rolled his eyes but a small smile was pushing at the edge of his lips. He soon went back to listening to the names be called. The names kept getting called before the professor reached the dreaded L’s.

“Longbottom, Frank…Lupin, Remus…”

“Here…” Remus responded quietly but the woman didn’t continue with calling out the names.

“Mr. Lupin?”

Remus tried to respond but his voice wouldn’t work. He naturally just spoke very quietly and he was embarrassed that she hadn’t heard him.

“Professor, he’s back here!” Sirius called out.

“Thank you, Mr. Black. Mr. Lupin, please speak up next time. Malfoy, Lucius…”

After breathing a sigh of relief, Remus looked over at Sirius with a grateful smile. There were few things he hated more than rollcall, so Sirius’s intervention was greatly appreciated. Maybe being friends with some extroverts had its perks. Soon, the professor had finished and the conversation started up again. James and Sirius both turned to look at Remus.

“You know, Professor McGonagall hates it when people don’t speak up. Poor Peter is as quiet as a mouse and she always yells at him,” Sirius said, nodding his head in the direction of a rather pudgy boy.

“Don’t worry though, you learn to speak up eventually,” James added.

Remus nodded and thanked the two boys for the advice and listened to them chat about random nonsense. They were both nice boys and Remus was glad he had met them. Despite James being way to overbearing sometimes, he was actually overly friendly. Sirius was more mischievous but he also seemed to be much calmer than James. The blonde boy, Peter, also seemed nice as well, from what Remus could tell. Maybe today wouldn’t be so bad after all.

The bell rang and the classroom went their separate ways, however, Remus soon found out that he shared almost all of his classes with James, Sirius, and Peter. He kept to himself mostly, only speaking when spoken to. Classes seemed to go by rather quickly and soon, it was time for lunch. Remus had to face yet another obstacle: who to sit with in the cafeteria. He didn’t want to be that loser who sat by himself but he also was too shy to introduce himself to anyone. Panic rose in his chest and he could feel himself freezing up until he heard a familiar voice.

“Oi! Remus! Come sit with us!” James called out across the cafeteria, beaming as he did so.

“Come on, Rem! We don’t bite!” Sirius added rather loudly.

A smile spread across Remus’s lips and he made his way over to the table where James, Sirius, and Peter were sitting. They greeted him with welcoming smiles and Remus could feel the happiness rising in his chest. That was definitely a huge weight lifted off of his shoulders and he didn’t feel awkward anymore. Meeting the three boys was probably the best thing that had happened to him all day. Remus was listening to their conversations before going to reach for his lunch when his face fell. He had forgotten to make his lunch. His stomach growled loudly but he didn’t say anything. There was nothing he could do.

“Rem? You alright? What’s the matter?” Sirius asked as the conversation at the table died.

“I…um…I accidently left my lunch at home…”

“Oh! Here! I have some chocolate.”

Sirius pulled out a chocolate bar from his bag and smiled warmly at Remus.

“Oh no, I can’t take your food-”

“Sure you can! It’s no problem! I have some crisps in my bag,” James interjected.

“I have an extra juice box,” piped up Peter.

Soon, Remus ended up with a small pile of food, despite all of his objections. He was certainly thankful for the food though and finally started to eat when James started nagging him. Remus never expected to become friends with the odd group of boys but they were just so kind to him that he couldn’t help but feel drawn to them.

“So Remus, where are you from?” James inquired, breaking the silence.

“Just a small town, nothing special.”

“You must feel out of place, huh?”

“Yeah…I’ve just had a rotten day…”

“Well, you won’t have any rotten days with the Marauders.”

“The Marauders?” Remus looked at James with raised eyebrows.

“Yeah, that’s what we call ourselves,” Sirius explained, his eyes lighting up. “It was a name we came up with a year ago. Most people think it’s stupid but we think it’s cool. You’re one of us now.”

Remus smiled and looked at the three smiling faces.

“I think I’ll like being a Marauder…”

 


	4. The Purebloods

              _The beast is gaining on you. You kept running and running for what seemed like hours but your surroundings didn’t seem to change. Would you be chased by this wolf for eternity? You keep running until you suddenly hit a wall. Your vision blurs and you become very dizzy. You turn around and you see that the wolf has you cornered up against the wall. He circles you for what seems like ages. Any movement warrants a deep growl and bared fangs. You glance out of the corner of your eye and you see an opening. You wait a few seconds before dashing to the side. However, you are stopped by another wolf. You look behind you and there is a third wolf. There is pause before all three wolves attack…_

              “Remus!”

              Remus woke up with a start and looked up to see James and Sirius looking down at him with a concerned gaze. They were studying in the library during a free period and Remus had dozed off with his face in a book. His cheeks flushed red with embarrassment and he looked down. Despite having become more comfortable at his new school with his new friends, he was still incredibly awkward and shy. Of course, being friends with James and Sirius meant he could never get a word in anyway, and he was perfectly content not drawing any attention to himself. After apologizing quietly, he buried his nose in his book to hide his face.

              “So anyway, as I was saying, when Snivellus opens his locker door,” James started as he explained his plan to Peter once again.

“Remind me who this Snivellus boy is again?” Remus whispered to Sirius, without looking up from his book.

“Severus. The boy that always hangs out with Lily. You know, annoying, greasy hair, big nose?” Sirius whispered back, bumping his shoulder against Remus’s and causing him to blush more.

“Oh so you mean like you?” he asked with a smirk.

“My hair is NOT greasy.”

              Sirius made his point clear by punching Remus playfully in the shoulder. His lips were curled up into his signature smirk and the two boys laughed, earning shushes from a few students who sat in the library. Again, Remus apologized but Sirius just kept that devilish smirk plastered to face. Remus rolled his eyes seeing the smirk and he continued to read. The door to the library opened and Remus felt the energy in the room change. Many students got up and left while others hid behind their books as if to shield themselves from whoever had just walked through the door. Even Sirius’s smirk faded into a glare.

              When Remus looked up to see who walked in, who he saw made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. There were three older students dressed in nearly all black. The first was a tall boy that Remus recognized from homeroom on his first day. He had long platinum blonde hair and he walked around as if he owned the place with his lips permanently curled into a sneer. Beside him was another boy with long black hair that fell past his shoulders and very dangerous looking eyes. The most frightening out of the three of them, however, was a rather tall girl with frizzy black hair. Her eyes were wide and she didn’t seem to be that friendly of a person. In fact, she seemed quite sadistic as she picked on a rather quiet blonde girl who sat in the back of the library.

              “Who are they?” Remus asked, feeling frightened of them already.

“The blonde one is Lucius Malfoy, the other guy is Rudolphus Lestrange, and the girl is Bellatrix Black…” James said, as he watched Bellatrix continue to torment the small blonde girl.

“Black? Sirius is she your sister?”

“Oh hell no,” Sirius growled slightly. “She’s my cousin, unfortunately. Our family likes to refer to themselves as purebloods. Which is stupid. It basically means that they think that they’re better than everyone else and they will do anything to keep the bloodline pure…which means a lot of us are the product of inbreeding. Explains a lot about Bellatrix.”

“…What did I get myself into?” Remus muttered to himself.

              He continued to watch the girl get tormented before he was fed up with it. He was about to walk over when another boy came and told Bellatrix off. He was a tall, rather attractive boy with brown hair and kind eyes. His body was in front of the blonde girl, becoming a wall to protect her from Bellatrix. However, Bellatrix didn’t seem as impressed.

              “Aww if it isn’t little Frankie? Come to protect this sorry excuse of a girl from big bad Bella?!” she laughed loudly. Nobody shushed her.

“Leave Alice alone, Bellatrix. She wasn’t doing anything to you….” Frank said softly, clearly afraid of the older girl.

“What are you going to do? Stupid me to death?”

              Frank gulped when Bellatrix advanced towards him with murder in her eyes. That was when James and Sirius stepped in and stood on either side of Frank, creating a larger barrier to protect Alice. Bellatrix clearly knew when she was outnumbered so she took a few steps back before running through the aisle and knocking all the books off the shelf. James turned to Frank and quietly spoke to him before he and Sirius returned to Remus and Peter.

              “I really hate her,” Sirius huffed as he sat down next to Remus, his eyes ablaze with anger. “Alice and Frank are two of the nicest people in this school and those pureblooded assholes just have to mess with them…Remus, you have to be careful around them. You don’t want to end up on their bad side.”

“I’ll make note of that…”

              Remus couldn’t focus after seeing Alice getting bullied. He wished he could have been brave like Sirius and James and protected her. But he just got too scared and watched as a stupid bystander. He mentally kicked himself for being so useless. After a while, the boys left the library where they had been hanging out and went to class. The events of that morning weighed on Remus throughout the entire day and he seemed even quieter than usual. Sirius had noticed this strange behavior and kept bugging him once classes were over.

              “Rem? Come on what’s bothering you? You’ve known me for like, forever, you can tell me anything!”

“Sirius, I’ve known you for less than two weeks.”

“That’s basically forever!”

“How exactly are you passing maths?”

“It’s about what happened in the library, isn’t it?” Sirius asked as he poked Remus’s shoulder.

“Yes! Okay! I was impressed with how you stood up to those Bellatrix…” Remus finally admitted.

“Why are you upset then?”

“Because I could never stand up to people like that! I was scared…I want to be extroverted like you and James but I’m not. I’m just…shy and useless…”

“Listen, Remus…it’s hard to stand up to people like that. We just hate them enough to actually do something about it. And the extroverted thing is just our personality.”

“I don’t even know my classmates yet and it’s been two weeks. I know a grand total of about…five people.”

“Relax, Rem… I don’t even know everyone. I know most people in our year and that’s about it. Now come on, James should be getting back soon. He invited us over his house to study, remember?”

“Of course I remember, he wouldn’t stop bugging me about it in chemistry,” Remus said finally smiling again.

              The two boys looked up when they saw a laughing James and a breathless Peter run up to them. They had just pulled the prank on Severus and James was practically crying from laughter. Remus frankly didn’t want to know what James had put in his locker, but judging from the shouts of Severus, it wasn’t something pleasant. The Marauders made their way out of the school, while James told every little detail of his prank to them. However, mid-sentence, James was cut off by Frank running towards them. His face was pink from being out of breath and he looked very worried.

              “Have you guys seen Alice? She was supposed to meet me by her locker but the only thing there was this note. It says, ‘if you want your precious girlfriend, come find her.’ What if Bellatrix has hurt Alice? You have to help me!”

              “Frank, you gotta relax. We can help you look for her. Those assholes usually hang out by the entrance to the forest. You know, back behind the school near the dumpsters? Let’s go look there.”

              They immediately raced towards the school, and soon made it back behind the school. Remus and Peter dragged behind, clearly out of shape and out of breath. How the hell did Peter manage to run around with them all the time? His questions remained unanswered as they found Alice sitting in front of the dumpster. Tears ran down her cheeks and she hid herself in her large hoodie. What had they done to her?

              “Well look who decided to show up. It’s like the little Marauders and Frankie decided to come save little Allie darling. Come on, dear, show them what I did!” Bellatrix cackled as she walked towards the group.

Behind her, a group of other purebloods walked towards the Marauders. They were surrounded and there was no way out. Remus racked his brain for a way out of this situation. He was far too out of shape to successfully run away, and even if he could, there were far too many of them. Remus looked down at the book he was holding in his arms. It was a stupid idea but it was his only option. He looked towards the nearest boy and hit him in the face with his hardcover book. It stunned everyone enough to create an opening where they could fight back. Sirius and James did most of the fighting but Remus got a strange thrill from hitting the bully. Not because he had just hurt someone with a book but because he had the guts to do it. By the end of the fight, Remus had a bloodied lip, however, he was smiling so proudly that he didn’t notice. Sirius and James were sporting bloodied noses, and James had a nasty bruise under his eye. But they were laughing. They didn’t quite know why, but they were breathless when the purebloods were finally out of sight.

“Who knew the shy book nerd could pack a punch!” Sirius laughed as he clapped a hand on Remus’s shoulder.

“I…I hit him…with a book…” Remus stared at his hands with a look of disbelief.

“Remus, that was bloody brilliant!” James shouted, still shaking with laughter.

              Their celebrations were cut off by soft crying. They looked over to see Alice still curled up in front of the dumpster. Frank had coaxed her to take her hood off and they finally realized what Bellatrix had done to her. Her blonde hair was cut into choppy layers and a thin cut was on her cheek from when she tried to resist. It looked horrible and she knew it. The Marauders all stared at one another unsure of what to do until James got an idea. He had Frank keep close to Alice as James led them to his house. There, Mrs. Potter managed to give Alice a cute pixie cut that Frank assured her was very cute.

              “Thank you, Mrs. Potter. And thank you guys for rescuing me. I guess Lily was wrong about you, James…”

“Evans said my name?” James looked up at Alice with widened eyes. “Did she say anything else about me? Did she-”

“Maybe she was right after all.”

              The company burst into laughter seeing James’s cheeks go red. After a while, Alice and Frank had to leave. They thanked the Marauders, and Alice gave Remus a gentle hug as a thank you for being brave enough to hit a boy with a book. Remus didn’t see the slight twinge of jealousy that passed over Sirius’s face. Soon, the Marauders were left by themselves. They sat around the kitchen table, talking comfortably with one another and feeling a little bit closer.

              There were few things that could cause a group of boys to instantly become best friends, and fighting a group of rich, entitled assholes was one of them.


	5. Full Moon

 

              _A sharp pain shoots through your body. You feel the blood drip down the curve of your face. It’s warm against your freezing cold skin. You look down at your hands, and they’re stained crimson. After a moment, you feel more blood drip down your face, this time from your mouth. Your eyes follow the trail of blood that has appeared on you and you see a body. His pale eyes are empty as they stare into your soul. His soft brown hair is coated with the sickly red liquid and he’s covered in cuts and scars. He seems oddly familiar._

“Remus!”

              Sirius gasped and shot up in bed. His head was spinning and his body was covered in a cold sweat. Why was Remus in his dream and…why was he dead? He felt like throwing up and he stumbled out of bed, falling onto the floor with a soft thud. Bare feet left quiet footsteps echoing throughout the otherwise silent hallway. Normally, Sirius would be completely silent but he was panicking so much that he couldn’t help the noise he made. Soon he found the sweet embrace of cold porcelain.

              His body was shuddering and his throat burned. The only noise was his shaky breathing. Sirius allowed his eyes to close for a moment, until he heard those familiar brisk footsteps. Oh God, not her. He tried to move but his body felt like lead. The footsteps grew louder until they suddenly stopped. Mrs. Black’s face was visible in the open door, staring disgustedly down her hawk-like nose at her son.

              “Get up! How dare you wake up the entire house!” she shrieked, definitely waking up the rest of the house.

“I didn’t wake up the house, you bloody harpy!”

              The sound rang out throughout the house and a sharp pain spread across Sirius’s cheek and left an imprint of where Mrs. Black’s hand had connected with his pale skin. There was silence as Sirius and Mrs. Black stared at each other. Sirius slowly moved his head away from the toilet, not breaking eye contact with his mother before his stomach lurched and he threw up on her shoes. Of course, she was more than just livid. She was screaming, which definitely woke up the neighbors if they weren’t awake already, and her claw-like hands tightened around Sirius’s arms. They didn’t let go of Sirius until he was thrown outside.

              Mrs. Black had locked the door, and Regulus certainly wasn’t going to let Sirius back in, so he was stuck outside, wearing nothing but his boxers. He shivered and looked up at the moon. It was full, casting an eerie glow on the town. A wolf howled in the distance, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. His hands felt numb and Sirius knew he had to get inside. So he made his way through the shadows, trying to reach James’s house. It wasn’t too far but still a considerable distance seeing as it was so cold he could clearly see his breath. He was soon lost in his thoughts, thinking about how much he hated his mother. Her hitting him was no surprise. In fact, it was expected. This wasn’t the first time she had kicked him out either. Sirius had the unfortunate habit of pushing his mother too far which often ended up in situations such as this one.

As he walked, he heard a faint growling sound behind him. His head whipped around and he saw a large and monstrous wolf. The wolf was skinny, with matted brown fur and deadly amber eyes. It was foaming at the mouth, but that couldn’t mask the large fangs that protruded from its gums. Sirius felt panic rising in his chest when he saw the hungry and feral gaze that the wolf was giving him. There was a pause before Sirius broke into a run. He had to get away from that monster. Its claws could be heard clacking on the pavement as Sirius ran. James’ house was just about ten feet away when Sirius tripped. The wolf approached slowly, lowering down onto its haunches, getting ready to pounce. When the wolf launched itself at Sirius, he punched it in the snout in a feeble attempt to defend himself. His eyes squeezed shut and he wait for the wolf to tear him to pieces.

              However, Sirius didn’t feel the sharp fangs or claws. Instead, the wolf recoiled with a loud whimper, a harsh burn appearing on the wolf’s snout. Sirius wondered what had happened when he remembered the silver Black family ring he always wore on his middle finger. He held up his middle finger, showing off his ring. The wolf snarled in response but backed away.

              “Don’t like my ring? Get out of here!” Sirius could feel his voice shaking as he stared at the wolf.

              It stared at him for a moment before running off into the shadows with a loud howl. Sirius breathed a sigh of relief and quickly made his way to the front door of James’s house. He pulled the key out from under the mat and opened the door. He stepped into the house and sighed softly before walking upstairs to James’s room. James was used to Sirius arriving in the middle of the night by this point and opened his eyes hearing his best friend walk inside. The boy sat up all bleary eyed with his black hair all over the place. He blinked a few times before slipping his glasses on.

              “Your mom again?”

“Yeah…”

              James let out a sigh before pulling back the blankets. He pat the space next to him and Sirius happily climbed into bed next to him. Warmth washed over Sirius once he was safely curled up underneath the blankets.

              “You’re the best, James,” Sirius said with a yawn.

“I know…do you…wanna talk about it?”

“No, not really.”

“Alright,” James sighed before laying back down on the bed. “Remus hasn’t been in school almost all week. We should go check on him later…”

“Yeah, I’m worried about him. Lily said he didn’t look well at all.”

              Sirius remembered how pale the boy was. He had kept pestering Remus about it but the brown haired boy only shook his head and continued doing his work. They hadn’t seen him after school in their usual hangout and they knew something was up. Especially when he didn’t show up for three days.

              “At least tomorrow is the weekend. So we can go see him.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Sirius agreed, again yawning as he did so.

“Get some sleep, Siri…you must have been out all night.”

“You have no idea…”

              Sirius’s eyes closed and he welcomed the embrace of sleep. For once, it was peaceful….

              _You are standing on a hill. The green grass is brilliant and you cannot help but feel completely at peace. You stare at the person next to you. He smiles at you and gives a soft laugh, his smile hiding the scar on his upper lip. In fact, you cannot see any scars on his skin. Only freckles decorate his skin. He’s absolutely beautiful. You lean close to him, your gazes unwavering. Your lips are just centimeters apart…_

Sirius opened his eyes, a soft pink blush dusting his cheeks. He was alone in the bed and he could smell the sweet aroma of breakfast. His stomach growled and he made his way down the stairs. When he reached the kitchen, he saw Mrs. Potter humming to herself as she made them breakfast. There were four places set at the table, making it obvious that she knew Sirius was there. The woman turned around and gave Sirius a warm smile.

              “Good morning, dear. James told me you came over last night. Have a seat. Breakfast is almost ready.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Potter…”

              He walked over to the table and plopped down next to James. The Potter household was like a second home to Sirius. His house was always dark and cold but the Potter’s always felt warm and full of love. It was a welcoming environment and there was no place that Sirius would rather be. Soon, breakfast was finished cooking and Mrs. Potter handed the boys their food. James and Sirius ate quickly, chatting about random nonsense and laughing as they did so. They headed upstairs once they were finished and got dressed. It wasn't long until the two boys were out of the door, shouting their goodbyes to Mrs. Potter. They walked along the streets, continuing their chat. However, the conversation soon became more serious when the topic changed back to Remus.

              “I wonder if whatever he’s sick with is the reason he moved here,” James mused as he walked next to Sirius.

“Maybe. He said his parents moved here for work but he could be lying.”

“He got all flustered when he said that. He’s definitely lying. Last night was a full moon. What if he’s a werewolf?”

              Sirius thought about the wolf he was attacked by and he paused. There was no way that sweet and innocent Remus could be a monster. Werewolves didn’t exist. Feral wolves certainly were more plausible than a mythical creature.

              “Remus would be the friendliest werewolf ever. He probably is just sick.”

“Of course, I was just kidding.”

              It wasn’t long until they arrived at the old wooden house that was on the outskirts of town. James walked up to the door and knocked. A friendly young woman opened the door. She had long, dark hair and the same friendly eyes that Remus had. They figured that she must have been Remus’s mother.

              “Oh? Are you Remus’s friends from school?” she questioned in a soft voice.

“Yes, I’m James and this is Sirius. It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Lupin. We wanted to see if Remus was alright.”

“He’s just been sick all week. I’m glad you asked about him…he’s upstairs if you wanted to see him.”

“Thank you. That would be lovely.”

              James and Sirius walked up to Remus’s bedroom. They knocked on the door and heard the quiet voice telling them to come in. When they entered, they saw a shell of a boy. He was covered in bandages and small cuts. His brown hair was coated with mud and dirt. He certainly wasn’t sick. What caught Sirius’s attention was a bandage on the side of his nose. Remus looked surprised at seeing James and Sirius.

              “I didn’t know you were coming...I would have cleaned up…” Remus spoke in a quieter voice than usual. Sirius couldn’t stop staring at Remus’s nose.

“Whoa, Rem! What the hell happened to you? No offense, but you look like a mess!” James exclaimed.

“I-I went out for a walk this morning and um…and I uh fell…into a pit of mud…”

“Yeah, sure…And did you break your nose when you fell?” Sirius asked sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

“Yes!” Remus said, getting rather defensive.

“Tell us what really happened, Remus.”

“I don’t want to talk about it okay!”

“Ugh! You’re just as bad as Sirius! Here, I have a comb you can get the mud out of your hair with. It’s in my bag. I’ll be right back.”

              James left leaving Remus and Sirius alone in the bedroom. Normally, Remus found Sirius easy to talk to but now they sat in an awkward silence. Remus seemed like he knew exactly what Sirius was thinking but neither of them knew how to bring up the topic.  

              “So are you…” Sirius began.

“Am I what? Sirius, I said I don’t want to talk about it…just drop it.”

“Remus, I know what you are…”

“No you don’t! You don’t understand!”

“I’m your friend. You can tell me anything.”

“I’ve only know you a month!”

“That’s like forever!”

“Okay! I’m…I’m…I’m bisexual okay? Some pureblood assholes found out about me and beat me up last night. And I really was sick this week. My parents are overprotective and kept me home for a couple of days…”

              That…wasn’t the answer Sirius was expecting. He felt silly for thinking his friend was a werewolf. They didn’t exist. Why would he think something so stupid? Sirius gave Remus a reassuring smile and rest his hand on his shoulder.

              “I’m sorry I forced the answer out of you,” Sirius said apologetically.

“You aren’t…disgusted?”

“Not at all, Remus…you’re my friend and I care about you. And I have absolutely no problem with it. Now I know who I can hit on for you.”

“…Don’t tell James.”

“I won’t tell him, I promise.”

              Sirius held out his hand towards Remus and his smile turned into his signature grin. Remus hesitantly took his hand and squeezed it. For a moment, they stare into each other’s eyes. Sirius was suddenly aware of how pretty Remus’s eyes were. Everything seemed to slow down in Sirius’s mind and he hardly noticed when James walked in with the comb. He shook his head to clear his thoughts, and soon they were laughing at James’s attempt to get the mud out of Remus’s hair.

              Everything was calm and relaxed as the three boys sat on Remus’s bed. The conversation was light and casual but something between Remus and Sirius was different. There were long, lingering gazes where time stood still and everything faded away. But then they would snap back to reality and they would laugh like nothing happened.

              Sirius didn’t think he liked reality so much anymore.


	6. Black

              Remus and Sirius had been growing closer as the weeks at school went by. Their relationship had definitely changed since Sirius confronted him a month before at Remus’s house. They were often seen together, either studying or just talking. But more often than not, it was the latter, with Sirius lying his head in Remus’s lap while Remus read his book. The weather had gotten colder, which meant that the Marauders now hung out in the library. That day, they were in their little corner of the library, casually doing their homework. Well…it was more like Remus helping Peter with his homework while Sirius and James goofed off.

              James was tossing a golden ball against the wall of the bookshelf with Sirius trying to catch it, even though he failed miserably. The steady thump of the ball was starting to get to Remus but he worked through it.

              “Are you guys going to Hogsmeade this Saturday?” James asked, still absentmindedly throwing the ball.

“Hogsmeade?” Remus asked curiously.

“A lot of us here take trips to a nearby town called Hogsmeade. There’s loads of cool stores and places to hang out. And a lot of people like to go there on dates,” Sirius explained, giving up trying to catch the ball and instead flopping in Remus’s lap.

“There’s also this weird empty house on the edge of the forest. We call it the Shrieking Shack. Every so often, you hear weird howling sounds at night,” Peter piped up.

“Oh…I know about the Shrieking Shack. I heard rumors about it…” Remus mumbled softly.

              Luckily, the rest of the Marauders hadn’t heard him. He leaned back and absentmindedly stared up at the ceiling as the others continued to talk. Remus thought about how he wanted to go on a date to Hogsmeade with…him. He had no idea why but every time their eyes met, his heart would speed up and time would stand still. But there was no way the boy would ever agree to a date with him. In his lap, Sirius was going on about the dates he’d been on in Hogsmeade. Of course, Remus wasn’t really paying attention until Sirius started to talk about other, more personal things he had done.

              “Who knows, I may be the reason they call it the Shrieking Shack,” Sirius bragged.

              Remus moved his leg out from under him and watched as Sirius fell to the floor. A slight smile threatened to curl his lips up.

              “Sorry about that. I forgot you were there.”

“You little shit!” Sirius laughed and dragged Remus down to the floor with them.

              They laughed for a bit before getting shushed by the librarian. Remus apologized quietly before moving to get off the floor. However, when he turned his head, Sirius was centimeters away from his face. Their faces flushed bright pink and they quickly scrambled away from each other after what seemed like ages. Nobody else had noticed what had happened. They just continued working. Remus and Sirius sat across from each other, trying to forget what had happened but both failing miserably.

              Eventually, they left the library but Remus lingered for a while, telling the others to walk ahead. He didn’t want to be around them at the moment. He just wanted to be alone with his thoughts for a while in the nearly empty library. Familiar footsteps sounded in his ears and he turned around, expecting to see Sirius, but instead came face to face with Bellatrix Black. It was eerie how well she could mimic his friend’s footsteps, or maybe it was because of the inbreeding. They were first cousins…he thought.

              “I saw that look, Remmy! Have a little crush?” Her voice was grating in his ears.

“Leave me alone. Or…” he paused slightly, failing to muster a good comeback.

“You’ll hit me with a book? I’m not as weak as Rabastan, Remmy. I’m far from being weak you mutt!” As she said that, she grabbed his collar tightly. “I know exactly what you are!”

“L-Leave me alone…” he croaked out again.

              Her hand moved swiftly and she slammed the back of Remus’s head into the bookshelf. He could smell her breath on his face and he could see the lipstick stains on her teeth. His head was throbbing from the impact but he tried to appear unfazed. Bellatrix’s eyes were fixed on the scar on the side of Remus’s nose. A devilish grin appeared on her face and Remus felt goosebumps rise on his neck. Her unsettling gaze was unwavering.

              “I wonder if silver works on you while you’re human.”

“It doesn’t…”

“Liar!”

              Remus clamped down on his lip as she punched him, the Black family ring leaving a noticeable burn on the other side of his nose. He struggled to get free of her grasp but he was too weak to push her off. She didn’t move her hand away from his face until she saw tears fall down Remus’s cheeks. With a laugh, she threw him to the floor. He refused to look her in the eye and kept his head down. The skin on his face was beginning to blister, hurting every time a tear rolled down the curve of his nose.

              “Know your place, half-blood,” she laughed, punctuating her sentence with a kick to his ribs.  “And if you meddle anymore, I’ll tell the whole town what kind of monster you are.”

              Her laughter still rang in Remus’s ears even after she had left. His body was shaking and he tried to stop the tears from falling. She knew. How the hell could she have known? Just what did he do the night of the full moon? The sound of his phone buzzing jarred him from his thoughts and he looked down to see a text from Sirius. He didn’t want to be around anyone anymore. Not even Sirius. He pushed himself to his feet and sighed softly before packing his bag. His thoughts were out of control and the wolf started to take over. He had to get away. Remus ran off towards the forest…

              _“Remus!” you shout, but there is no answer. At least, not a human one. A wolf appears in front of you, snarling. However, his tail is between his legs and he looks like he his starving. You take a step towards the wolf and he retreats. His gaze is fixed on your finger. You look down and see your silver ring. Your gaze returns to the wolf and you notice two scars on either side of his snout. He looks frightened of you…_

“Sirius!”

              Sirius jumped up when he heard James call his name. He had fallen asleep against the window of James’s car and he looked around with a confused gaze.

              “Huh? What? What’d I miss?”

“We’re here, at Hogsmeade. Are you sure Remus didn’t want to come with us?” James asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah. Well…no…he didn’t answer my text. Maybe he got sick again because he wasn’t in school again.”

“I’m worried now. Maybe we should call the house?”

“Tried that. No answer. His parents are out of town.”

“Let’s buy him some candy from Honeydukes and bring it to the house when we get back. You know how much he likes chocolate.”

“Sounds like a plan- what the hell was that?” Sirius turned his head in the direction of the shrieking shack. A loud, eerie howl could be heard from inside.

              The Marauders looked at each other before running toward the old house.


	7. The Shrieking Shack

The Marauders stood in the shadow of the small, dilapidated house. Another howl came from inside and the hair on the back of their necks instantly raised. Everything screamed danger, literally _screamed_ , but there was no way they were backing out. James walked up to the front door and knocked. When there was no answer, James opened the door and looked back at his friends. Sirius grabbed Peter by the arm and dragged him into the shack. The house opened into a thin hallway. To their left, there was a rickety, old staircase. It looked ready to break if any weight was placed on the rotting wood. Another howl came from up the staircase.

              “I don’t think we should go up there. What if it’s a ghost? Or what if we’re trespassing?” Peter said, quivering.

“Quit being such a Remus, Pete,” Sirius shot back.

“Both of you shut up! It sounds like someone is hurt up there…” he was cut off by another pained howl.

              James looked back at Sirius and the two bolted up the stairs, Peter trembling behind them. When they reached the source of the howling, they were surprised at what they found. Remus was lying on the ground, writhing in pain. He whimpered seeing his friends and tried to hide his face but they saw all they needed to know exactly what was going on. His hair was a mess and covered more of his body than usual. Claws protruded from his fingers and his teeth were sharpened into fangs. Remus’s eyes were a bright orange color, and they looked around in a panic. Sirius couldn’t pull his gaze away from the scars on his nose. He didn’t realize that it was the outline of the Black family ring until now.

              “I’m an idiot! You’re the werewolf that attacked me!”

“I’m…I’m sorry…it hurts…don’t b-be mad…” Remus whimpered as he scratched at his skin slightly.

“No, no I’m not mad. Don’t hurt yourself…” Sirius knelt down in front of his friend and held onto his wrists to stop him from scratching himself.

              James walked over to Remus and sat down next to him. He looked up at Sirius and they both nodded in a silent agreement. They would do anything to protect their friend.

              “Hey Rem…we won’t tell anyone about this. We promise,” Sirius said in a soft voice.

              His fingers ran through Remus’s hair, trying to calm him down. It was awful seeing Remus in pain and his features distorted. Turning into a werewolf was bad enough but having it be a slow process must have been much worse. Sirius noticed that petting Remus seemed to have a soothing effect on the werewolf. It was almost like Remus was a puppy with how relaxed he was becoming. They stay with Remus for as long it was safe. By the time the sun went down, Remus was lost in his animal instincts.

              As the boys were leaving the room, Remus began to change. His face distorted and morphed into a snout. His eyes flashed an eerie orange color and hair spread across his body. The bones in his body moved and changed and cracked so that his legs were those of a wolf and that he slouched when he stood up on his hind legs. There was no longer a sad, whimpering boy on the ground, but a strong, feral-looking wolf.

              While Remus was transforming, James had locked the door and the Marauders left the Shrieking Shack. They felt awful for leaving their friend but they didn’t want to die either. Learning that Remus was a werewolf explained a lot though. It explained how he always looked sick around the time of the full moon and his little quirks. It explained why he was absent from school so often. And it explained why Remus tried so hard to go unnoticed. But that left one thing unexplained for Sirius.

              If Remus lied to him that night, did that mean Remus was lying about being bisexual? For some reason, the thought of Remus being straight made his stomach churn. It made his fists clench and his head spin. Why were these emotions so conflicting? Why did he get so upset at the thought of Remus being with a girl? Sirius shook his head and kept walking with his friends, but his gaze kept drifting towards the silhouette of the wolf in the window.

              _Fangs snapping. A deep guttural growl sounds in his throat. Everything is sharp. He smells everything. He smells blood. His claws rake through his skin. He lets out a howl in pain. You try to stop him but it’s useless. You’re useless. Another howl. More blood. Hungry. Need food. You scream for him to stop but he digs his claws into his skin again. His back arches and he claws at the walls around him. The smell of blood. It’s overpowering. You can’t control it. You are desperately trying to control it, but it’s useless. Dizzy. Sunlight. His body contorts. You’re in control._

              Remus woke up in the shrieking shack. He was on the floor, weak and in intense pain. Gashes covered his pale body and the smell of blood made him dizzy. His slightly curly, brown hair was slicked with blood and it stuck to his forehead. He gagged at the feeling and squeezed his eyes shut. Everything hurt. When he tried to move, he shrieked in pain. It was a loud sad sound that made the hairs on the back of any listener’s neck stand up. He was stuck in the Shrieking Shack. In pain. Covered in blood. Alone. Just like every other time he transformed.

              However, something was different. He heard footsteps on the creaky wooden staircase. They sounded familiar. No… They had stayed? Sirius and James burst through the door carrying clothes, bandages, and food. Remus tried to prop himself up on his elbows but it hurt too much.

              “Hey! Don’t try to move,” James commanded.

“Yeah. We didn’t want to leave you alone so we stayed in Hogsmeade for a night. And I remembered how beat up you looked that one night so we bought everything we thought you might need,” added Sirius.

“You didn’t need to do this…I can handle-“

“No, Remus. You’re our friend. And friends have to take care of each other!”

“Yeah, Sirius is right. We’re taking care of you whether you want us to or not.”

              They bandaged up Remus as best they could. The faucets in the Shack didn’t work so they couldn’t clean him up properly. James decided that they should take Remus back to his house so they could wash all the blood off of his body and disinfect the wounds. He was naked so Remus was soon covered in a sweater that was two sizes too big and baby blue pajama pants.

              “You…couldn’t have found any other clothes?”

“We didn’t know what size you were.”

“No, Sirius is colorblind and we made the mistake of putting him in charge of clothes.”

“I am not colorblind!”

“Okay, then you just have terrible sense in fashion.”

“Don’t insult my fashion sense, James Potter!”

“What color are Remus’s pants?”

“Like a dark green?”

“I prove my point.”

              Sirius pout the entire time they were carrying Remus to James’s car. Despite all the pain he was in, Remus couldn’t help but smile at his friends. They had went through all of that trouble to make sure he was okay. Back in his old town, when they had found out he was a werewolf, they had tried to kill him. It was a nice feeling having people who cared about him. They carefully set him down in the back of the seat and soon they were on their way back to James’s house.

              Remus was laying in the back seat, using Sirius’s lap as a pillow. His cheeks were flushed a slight pink color but Sirius didn’t seem to notice. As awkward as he felt, he also felt safe and warm. Sirius had been kind to him since the moment they met. He was always taking care of him. Making him feel right at home. Around him, the wolf couldn’t seem to take over. The wolf wouldn’t whisper in his head. It was only Sirius and his sweet voice. It was smooth like honey, or maybe silk. It was nice…no, better than nice. It was the best feeling in the world. His eyes fluttered shut and he let out a sigh. The pain didn’t seem to matter with Sirius around.

              “You feeling alright?” came the sweet, silken voice.

“Well I’m bleeding, but I’m comfortable laying back here.”

“It shouldn’t be much longer. We’ll get you cleaned up.”

              He ran his hand through Remus’s hair absentmindedly but Remus’s mind was far from absent. His heart sped up and his cheeks were burning. Remus was more than grateful when the car finally pulled into James’s driveway, but his cheeks remained bright red when Sirius carried him bridal style into the house. It was like the universe was screaming in his ears, and he tried so desperately to ignore it. There was no way this day could get any better or any worse.

              Remus had never been more wrong in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah sorry this is so late. School is annoying but I'll try to get back into the swing of things.


	8. The Bath

              Because Remus’s bandages needed to be fixed, they needed to remove his clothes. And because Remus was covered in dried blood, he needed to be cleaned. It was non-negotiable with James so Remus found himself in a rather large bathtub. James’s house was huge and his bathroom was no exception. The bathtub was almost like a hot tub. It had jets and the water was so warm that Remus thought he would absolutely melt. He didn’t even have a bath in his home. All he had was a shower, and most of the time he didn’t even have hot water. But James’s bath was over-the-top. It was luxurious. Remus never realized how nice hot water was until now.

              He sat for a while before he went to wash the blood off. However, when he moved, a fresh wave of pain shot through his body. Instinctively, he let out a loud howl which caused the Marauders to come running to the bathroom. Remus made a mental note to work on that howl of his. Normally, he only howled in pain around his transformation. By now, his human side had completely taken over. However, there were still some traces of wolf in him. Like his slight oversensitiveness to sounds and smell. And the occasional howl in pain. They always amplified around the time of the full moon.

              “Remus! Are you alright?”

“Are you turning into a wolf again?”

“Where does it hurt?”

“Do you need any medicine?”

“Do you need an ambulance?”

“Are you dying?”

“Shut up! Quit talking all at once!” Remus finally shouted.

              The three boys fell silent and Remus instantly felt bad for yelling. They were just trying to help.

              “I’m sorry. I just can’t move very well…”

“Oh well, one of us could help!” suggested James.

“Uh...” That would be extremely awkward.

“I’ll do it, it’ll make up for the clothes.” When Sirius volunteered, Remus thought he would just die.

“W-Wouldn’t it be awkward with everyone in here?”

“Yeah it would be, you two, get out!” Sirius commanded.

              Remus meant _everyone_ but Sirius clearly felt that everyone didn’t apply to him. So James and Peter left the bathroom, leaving Remus alone with Sirius. No. No no no! This could not be happening! There was no way this was actually happening. There was no way he was alone, in the bath, with _Sirius Black_. He must be dreaming, he thought, but the pain in his body told him otherwise. And besides, if this were a dream, there’d be wolves and blood and screaming. Here, there was only warm water and the faint sound of Sirius speaking to him.

              “Remus!”

              He jumped and looked up at Sirius. Apparently, he had been lost in thought and completely missed what he was saying to him.

              “I need you to move forward. I need to clean up your back.”

              Almost automatically, Remus leaned forward and Sirius grabbed a washcloth. He moved the soft fabric against his back, trying to wipe away the dried blood and dirt. Sirius’s hands were so gentle that Remus hadn’t noticed that he was leaning into his soft touch.  For once in his life, Sirius wasn’t talking Remus’s ear off. Instead, the boy was so focused on making sure that he didn’t hurt Remus, he was dead silent. It made the moment…awkward…

              They were both awkward. Remus was just a naturally awkward person. Sirius wasn’t awkward, but he was awkward now and it was somewhat unsettling for Remus. He liked hearing Sirius rant about anything and everything- well, nearly everything. Hearing about past girlfriends and one-night stands made Remus flush a bright red color and made his head feel funny. But when Sirius got excited about anything else, Remus would feel his heart try to flutter out of his chest. And right now? It was beating so fast that he thought it would burst through his chest.

              When Sirius was finished washing his back, he moved onto his hair. That wasn’t that much better for Remus. But it wasn’t anywhere lower.

              “This isn’t working,” Sirius finally remarked after a minute of trying to wash Remus’s hair.

              Remus hadn’t looked up until he heard Sirius unzip his jeans and undress right there.

“Wh-What are you doing?!”

“I’m trying to clean you up but it’s hard because of this stupid bathtub. I’m not going to do anything. I promise.”

              Sirius pulled off his shirt but Remus wasn’t looking at him. If he looked, he would stare, and staring drove people away. He wasn’t sure whether he wanted to drive him away or not. Whether he wanted to stare at his body.

              And then there were two. Sirius had slipped into the bathtub and was now rubbing shampoo into his scalp. It was gentle but not overly so. It was absolutely perfect…and absolutely terrifying. They were both _naked_ in the bathtub. Remus was internally screaming and wishing he were dead. It wasn’t that he didn’t want this, but he felt so awkward and Sirius obviously didn’t feel the same way about him. It didn’t seem like Sirius was terrified though. In fact, he was as cool and collected as ever.

              “You…aren’t weirded out by this? Like, at all?”

“No, James and I used to take baths all the time.”

“Really?” Remus wanted to see Sirius’s face but he was still washing his hair.

“Yeah. We didn’t see the point in it being awkward.”

“James doesn’t seem like he ever feels awkward.”

“He doesn’t. I wonder when he will stand up on the table and declare his love for Lily again. He just doesn’t get embarrassed. Like ever.”

“I wish I could be that confident. I wish I could be as confident as you.”

              Sirius’s hands stopped in his hair, and for a second Remus thought he said something wrong. Or maybe that Sirius was realizing how awkward the situation was. But he was only stopping to rinse the shampoo out of his hair. The water was slightly tinted from the blood that washed off his body but Sirius didn’t seem to care.

              “It’s easy to be confident around James. If you hang around him long enough, he starts to rub off on you. I used to be pretty quiet.”

“Quit lying to me. There’s no way Sirius Black, the most annoying boy in the school, could have been quiet.”

“Uh, Severus is the most annoying. I’m the second most annoying boy in the school,” Sirius said, looking offended yet playful.

“And every girl who isn’t Lily Evans is practically in love with you.”

“Don’t forget Marlene.”

“Okay, every straight girl is in love with you.”

“What about Alice? She is practically drooling over Frank.” Sirius began to get that grin. It was the grin he always had when he knew he was being a little shit.

“You get what I mean!” Remus said indignantly.

“I also have boys crushing on me. Pretty much anyone interested in guys is interested in me. Because I’m so damn hot.”

              Sirius had the biggest grin on his face and Remus didn’t know if he wanted to punch Sirius in the mouth or kiss him roughly. Both would make the boy shut up. And both would make the boy hate Remus. So he sat in the now lukewarm water, fuming. He had forgotten about the pain because he was so annoyed with Sirius. How could one be so annoying and so damn hot? Remus moved and turned to face his friend and his glare relaxed. Sirius had such a genuine smile that Remus couldn’t help but relax. Sure, Sirius drove him up the wall, but he was so much happier around him. He’d never had a friend as annoying and as great as Sirius Black.

              Soon, Remus was cleaned up and Sirius drained the tub before lifting his friend up and carrying him out. Of course, Remus’s cheeks flushed a bright red at how Sirius was carrying him. Part of him wished that Sirius would have just giving him support but another part was secretly enjoying being carried. Sirius didn’t seem to think it was awkward or anything and he happily dried off his friend. It took all of Remus’s control not to stare at Sirius’s naked body but sometimes, he couldn’t help himself. His eyes followed along the curves of Sirius’s pale body. There were imperfections everywhere. There were light bruises on his back and Remus could only wonder how he got them. Sports maybe? There were also moles and an odd birthmark. He was skinny for a boy, but not like how Remus was. He was a little more filled out, better defined. Remus realized he was staring but this was the first time he had ever seen Sirius in such detail. He shook his head to clear his thoughts.

              “Is something wrong, Rem?” Sirius asked when he saw Remus shake his head.

“N-No. I’m fine….Are you going to put on clothes?”

“Maybe.” There was that stupid grin again.

“Come on, be serious.”

“I’m always Sirius.”

“Is that your only joke?”

“Pretty much.”

“Can you just put my bandages back?”

              Sirius only laughed as he fixed Remus’s bandages. Remus was glad that he was facing away from Sirius as he had flushed red cheeks. Every time Sirius’s soft fingers brushed against his skin, the color in his cheeks got deeper and redder. His heart was pounding in his chest and he could barely think straight. Why did he feel like this? Why did he so desperately want Sirius to touch him more? The touching made him uncomfortable. And yet it also made him feel like the only man in the world.

              He realized then that he had a crush on _the_ Sirius Black.


	9. A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

 

              Sirius finished cleaning up his friend and bandaging his wounds. Remus kept tensing under his touch and he worried that Remus was still in pain. It was unfair that Remus had to go through such an awful thing. He wondered how such a thing could have happened. Was he born a werewolf? Was he bitten? But he refrained from asking them. Remus didn’t seem like he wanted to talk about anything. He was blushing so he must be embarrassed about it. Or at least uncomfortable about it. The scars and cuts that lined Remus’s tiny frame were gruesome. They were deep and various shades of red and brown. Some were lower, around his waist and on his stomach. A couple were in between his thighs as well. Remus looked like a kicked puppy and all Sirius wanted to do was hug him.

              Finally, he finished bandaging his friend and helped him put one of James’s fluffy bathrobes on. It was a deep red color and it was way too big on Remus. But it looked good on him. He looked warm and less like he was about to cry, even though he could barely walk. Sirius wrapped a towel around his waist before carrying Remus back into the main bedroom. He would always be jealous of James’s en suite bathroom. Of course, his house was just as fancy and nice but Walburga Black lived in his house and he didn’t have an en suite bathroom.

              James and Peter looked up seeing Sirius walk back in with Remus and they cleared space on the bed immediately. Remus was gently laid down on the soft mattress and finally, he seemed to relax. That made Sirius smile. He liked seeing Remus all relaxed and comfortable. He liked seeing the edges of his lips quirk up in a slight smile and he liked the slight pink color that rose to his cheeks when he was smiling. It was cute. Wait. Did he just call Remus Lupin cute? As he thought more about it more, he did think Remus was really cute.

              He didn’t realize that James was talking. Sirius shook his head and tuned into the conversation.

              “Remus, I think that you should stay the night. You shouldn’t move around too much until you’re healed up.”

“Okay, I’ll need to call my parents. And tell them where I am. They’re probably very worried about me. I mean they know about my furry little problem but I’m mostly in control now.”

“Okay. Here’s my phone. Do you want us to leave the room?”

“Y-Yeah. That would be nice, thank you…” Remus looked grateful and the boys walked out of the room.

              Sirius couldn’t stop thinking about Remus. It was weird. He wanted to be near him and he wanted him to be happy. And damn did that boy look cute. He thought about the way that Remus would bury his nose in whatever book he was reading and shut himself off from the world. He thought about the way he would stick his tongue out of the side of his mouth when he was focused. He thought about the way Remus’s cheeks would flush a slight pink when he would laugh…he wanted to hear that laugh, see that blush, see that amazing smile every single day. Why the hell was he having these thoughts?

              He leaned against the wall for a minute before looking at James. He had to talk to him about this but he wondered if he should tell Peter as well. Sirius thought for a minute before deciding to talk to James privately. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to Peter but he only wanted to tell one person at the moment. Besides, James was practically his brother and he told everything to James. He’d tell Peter later once he had James’s input. After a while, Peter went to go to the bathroom. This was Sirius’s chance to talk to James alone.

              “Hey, James? Can we talk?”

“Yeah, about what…?”

“Um…I have…a problem,” Sirius’s voice was soft when he spoke so that James knew he wasn’t joking around.

“Is it serious?”

“Well it is a serious Sirius problem.” James rolled his eyes hearing that, but Sirius continued. “It’s a Remus problem…he makes me feel…weird. Like a nice weird…Like…You know how you said you felt when you first saw Lily? It’s like that…”

              It was silent in the hallway. James just stared at Sirius before smiling and hugging him. Sirius froze at the gentle hug that James gave him. That wasn’t the reaction he was expecting. He was expecting James to disown him or get angry and hurt him…Wait this was James Potter. James Potter was probably the nicest boy he knew. Sirius wasn’t expecting to cry but tears fell down his cheeks. So much for being the attractive bad boy.

              “Sirius…did you think I wouldn’t accept you?” James held onto his friend, squeezing him tighter when he saw the tears.

“Well…I mean…Nobody else knows…”

“I’m not your mother.”

“I’m never telling her any of this. Can you imagine what she would do to me…?”

“If you need a place to stay you can stay here…I know how bad she can get.”

“Yeah…I know…”

              Sirius wiped his eyes after a while and gave James a soft smile. What would he have done without James? Remus finished on the phone after a while and the rest of the Marauders came back into the room. They started to talk about random, trivial things, not wanting to address the elephant in the room. It was clear to Sirius that Remus seemed uncomfortable with dancing around the topic. He watched as Remus smiled awkwardly and looked directly at Sirius.

              “Hey, Sirius?” he asked, smile quivering slightly.

“Yeah, Rem?”

“What kind of material is this sweater?”

 “It’s wool?” Sirius responded, questioning whether or not Remus had completely lost it.

“Th-Then I guess you can say that…I’m a wolf in sheep’s clothing.”

              The room had gone dead silent. They all stared at the boy before bursting out laughing. Remus really was one of them.

              “That was worse than Sirius’s puns!” James nearly fell off the bed.

“It wasn’t really that funny…” Remus said sheepishly. “I just wanted to light the mood.”

“Rem, our entire sense of humor centers on bad puns and really stupid jokes.”

“Then I think you guys will find it ironic that my name means wolf wolf…”

              They were silent again before cracking up and laughing again. Remus seemed to like it when they laughed about him being a werewolf. It was just one more pun to make. He smiled and laughed along with them when they kept making jokes.

              “You realize we are going to make more puns about your…furry little problem, right?” James said once he gained his composure.

“I’d rather you make jokes about me than be afraid of me so you can continue with your…lycanthropuns.”

“…Rem…That was so bad…” Sirius groaned in response, “You really are one of us!”

              Remus smiled so wide, that Sirius never wanted Remus to stop.

 


	10. The Yule Ball?

Remus had recovered rather quickly after the full moon and he was back in school by Tuesday. His body was still a little sore and he looked like the poster child for death. He did use this to his advantage as many teachers gave him extensions for his homework, which he was very happy about. He was also grateful for Sirius’s help over the past few days. He would carry his books for him and share notes he took in class and he would explain difficult concepts he learned in class. Sirius would sit so close to him during those moments. He’d brush against his shoulder, lean over him, gaze into his eyes. Remus loved Sirius’s grey eyes and the way they looked like rain clouds. They were just so pretty. And Sirius would never pull away. He’d stay there and smile at Remus with _that_ smile.

              He used to be jealous that Sirius was just naturally pretty, naturally perfect, but the past few days he had Sirius all to himself and he thought otherwise. Well…he had the other marauders as well but Sirius spent the most time with him. He noticed the tiniest imperfections in Sirius but they did not detract from his attractiveness. His frame was thin, not muscular like he had initially perceived. Under the thick leather jackets he wore, Sirius was rather skinny, not Remus skinny, but skinny nonetheless. His face was particularly feminine, not that it was a bad thing. But his eyelashes were thick and his lips were a soft pink color. His nose had a slight bump in it, which Sirius said he hated, but Remus thought it was cute. _Cute…_ Did he really find Sirius cute?

              It wasn’t that long after he realized he had a crush on Sirius so he was a little confused at the depth in which he had noticed his face. But he couldn’t help but take in every little imperfection. Every quirk. They all combined into Sirius. They all combined into something so irritatingly gorgeous. Remus blushed at the thought and he almost let out an audible whine. A loud shout broke him from his thoughts. Oh. He almost forgot he was still at school, in the library.

              “Remus!”

 “Wh-What?” Remus looked at the boy who called his name. Sirius. Dammit.

 “What is it? I’m studying?” He tried to sound indifferent but his stupid heart sped up.

“Do you have a date to the Yule Ball?”

 “What?”

“You don’t know what the Yule Ball is?” Sirius exclaimed in disbelief, earning a loud _shush_ from the librarian.

“I’m new here. I’ve only been here two months.”

“That’s practically forever.”

“Again, you still don’t grasp the concept of forever.”

“Well it feels like I’ve known you forever.” Sirius said, giving him that smile. That stupid smile.

“Tell me what Yule Ball is…” Remus turned away with a deep blush on his cheeks.

“Okay well it’s this stupid dance we do in the winter, and it’s really formal and shit. And pretty much you have to go. And you need a date. So…I’m gonna be your wingman. Got any girls you like? Any guys? I can help you find a date. I have girls lining up to ask me.”

              Sirius winked at a group of girls and they all giggled. Remus felt sick to his stomach.

              “I don’t need help getting a date.”

“Aw come on. I can totally get you a date.”

              Remus knew who he wanted to take the Yule Ball but Sirius clearly wasn’t into him. He was flirting with those girls. He flirted with every girl. You couldn’t walk down the hallway without seeing Sirius snogging some pretty girl. It made Remus’s stomach churn, even more now that he accepted the fact he had some stupid crush on Sirius.

              “I don’t want you to find me a date. I can get one myself.” Remus shut his book and stood up rather abruptly. “I…have to go.”

“Rem-“

              But Remus had made his way out of the library. He seemed off. Angry. His senses were overriding. Too much perfume. Too much noise. Too many people. His eyes were now an amber color but he didn’t know that. His thoughts were too far gone. The more reasonable side of his brain took him outside so that he could be away from the people. So he wouldn’t hurt anyone. However, he ran into a girl with a familiar pixie cut. That seemed to snap him out of… _whatever_ was going on.

              “S-Sorry…” Remus stuttered, still kind of shaky.

“It’s alright…what’s wrong?” Alice looked up at him with concerned eyes.

“Yule Ball trouble…”

“You too?”

“Yeah…Frank hasn’t asked you?” Remus raised an eyebrow. Was Frank really that cowardly?

“No…But…Maybe he will? I don’t…know.” Remus noticed she seemed worried about him asking. He felt bad for her but he knew Frank really liked her. Hell, he fought off bullies for her.

“I wouldn’t worry. He really seems to like you.”

“I hope so…what’s your Yule Ball trouble?” she looked up at Remus.

“…the person I want to ask wants to help me find a date…”

              She stared at him for a moment before smiling softly. It was like she knew.

              “Maybe you have to be more direct…”

“He wouldn’t see me flirting with him if I walked into a room naked professing my undying love for him.”

“I feel the same way,” Alice giggled.

              Remus laughed as well but he gazed down at his watch. Their break was almost over and he wanted to get to his next class early. It was McGonagall’s class and it was hell if you were late.

              “I should get going, Alice, but it was nice talking to you.” Remus stood up and brushed off his pants.

“It was nice talking to you too. We introverts have to stick together!”

“Yeah…Good luck with Frank…”

              Remus made his way back into the school and to his next class, passing Frank on his way back. He was glad he was able to calm down but his animal instincts would sometimes take over his thoughts. They were irritating and Remus hated them. It wasn’t enough that he had to suffer during the full moon but he constantly had to fight for his humanity. Other werewolves looked animalistic even in human form. He remembered the werewolf that bit him. He remembered how that werewolf looked before he turned. His eyes were large and amber. His face was distorted by the large fangs that were already in his mouth. Remus ran his tongue over his canine teeth. They were still a little pointed from his transformation. He didn’t want to be like the man who turn him. He didn’t want to be an animal.

              He sat down in class still deep in thought. Sirius walked in moments later and said nothing. Those grey eyes kept glancing at him in a tentative gaze. That was an odd look coming from Sirius. Normally Sirius would come in all smiles and snark but this was different. Remus felt guilty for snapping at Sirius and walking away from him. He probably ruined any chances of going to the Yule Ball with Sirius. His stomach twisted itself into a knot. His mouth opened and he was about to apologize to his friend but a girl walked in and winked at Sirius.

              “You excited for Yule Ball, Sirius?”

“You know it, doll…” Sirius winked back to her.

“I can’t wait, I’m gonna buy my dress tonight,” she waved and sat down.

How could he be so stupid? Remus felt his lower lip quiver. McGonagall’s voice seemed distant and almost drowned out. His eyes blurred and he couldn’t see anything. Dammit. Dammit dammit dammit! Remus’s head was pounding and there was a ringing in his ears. Why was he reacting so strongly to this? It was stupid. He was stupid for liking Sirius. The boy’s emotions were going haywire. He couldn’t seem to focus. His eyes rolled up into his head and he fell to the floor.

“Remus!”

But Remus had fallen unconscious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY IM SO BAD AT UPDATING BUT AP TESTS ARE SOON BUT ILL BE BACK ON TRACK AFTERWARDS


	11. Falling For You

               _It was dark. Too dark. Black. The very word causes a snarl to come from your lips. You don’t want to be angry and yet all you feel is pure rage. You see him. A boy. He’s standing all alone. He turns and smiles at you. You extend your claws and fangs grow into your mouth. Your bones snap and crack into position as your body changes form. You seem to grow bigger as well and you tower over the boy. He keeps smiling at you. You growl in response. You snarl, mouth foaming, pupils narrowing into slits. He reaches out to touch you and you lunge for his throat._

              Sirius looked down at his friend with worried eyes. What was going on? Didn’t this happen the first day of school as well? He fell out of his seat trying to get to Remus and he tried to make sure he was okay. His narrow fingers wrapped around Remus’s and he squeezed gently. He figured that Remus must still not be well after the full moon. It was only a few days ago so it would make sense. But Remus had gotten upset in the library. Why…? Why had he gotten so worked up? Sirius wanted to know desperately but he couldn’t tell. McGonagall was saying something but Sirius couldn’t make out what she was saying. He was focused only on Remus.

              There were footsteps approaching them and Sirius quickly turned his head to stare up at the source. Actually it was more of an intense, protective glare. That was one of the few things he and his mother had in common. They had the same piercing stare, the same snarl of the lips, the same scrunching of the nose. As much as they wanted to deny the other, they were still cursed with the same face. McGonagall was taken aback by the intense stare. She knew Mrs. Black’s face and was surprised to see it manifested so perfectly on Sirius.

              She didn’t say anything but knelt down to check Remus’s pulse and see if he was breathing before resting her hand against Sirius’s shoulder. Her face was soft and understanding as she looked at him and Sirius finally relaxed his face. Now he looked like the normal Sirius. His eyes were wide and afraid and he bit his lip gently.

              “Stay with him…I’ll go get Madam Pomfrey. Don’t worry. He should wake up soon.”

              The woman stood up straight before quickly walked out of the room and Sirius turned his gaze back to his friend. When he looked down he saw Remus’s eyes were opened and glassy. They squint for a moment before a soft whine escaped him and he brought his hands up to cover his eyes.

              “Head hurts….” Remus mumbled, voice pained and hoarse.

“Remus what happened?”

“I fainted, what do you think happened? Ugh…”

“I get that but why?”

“Fatigue? Emotions? I don’t know!”

              The nurse came back and checked on Remus. She found a bump on the back of his head and figured that the worst case scenario was that he just had a minor concussion. However, Sirius wasn’t listening to what she was saying. He was too focused on Remus’s attitude toward him. What did he do wrong? After a moment he tuned into the conversation.

              “I think it’s best if you go home. You should rest, Mr. Lupin.”

“I have nobody to come pick me up…” Remus sighed, looking down at his hands.

“I can walk him home….” Sirius interjected.

“Sirius you don’t have to—”

“No, here, I can take you home. Don’t worry about it.”

              The two teachers looked at each other and figured that it would be best if Sirius walked Remus home. Sirius wasn’t taking no for an answer anyway so they let him go. Soon, the two boys were on their way to Remus’s house. There was an awkward silence between them. Remus would not talk and Sirius kept quiet because he figured that Remus was still mad at him. Well, for the most part he was quiet but the curiosity was eating at his mind.

              “Rem?”

“Hm?”

“Are you mad at me? I mean…did I do anything wrong?”

              There was a pause like Remus was thinking. He opened his mouth a bit before he closed it quickly. Sirius wanted to know desperately and he stared at Remus with imploring eyes that would put sad puppies to shame. Well, at least that’s what he hoped he looked like. James said he had the best “puppy-dog face” in town.

              “No…I just…It’s nothing important, I promise.”

“Remus, you’re lying to me.”

“It’s fine. Please don’t press the issue…”

              Sirius sighed softly. He didn’t want to further upset his friend. That was the last thing he wanted. In truth, he wanted to take Remus to the Yule Ball and dance with him and kiss and…other things. He was going to ask him but fear had taken over. What if his mother found out he was in love with a boy? She would surely find out because of Regulus. That boy told her everything. So he found the next best thing. He was friends with a girl, Dorcas Meadowes, and she was dating his friend Marlene. But her parents did not know about her girlfriend and would surely be mad if they found out. So Sirius would take Dorcas to the ball and let her go have her fun with Marlene. Lily had already rejected James about forty times that day alone so he was going to ask Marlene if she couldn’t find another date. It was a good plan and they were glad to help out their friends.

              “So,” Remus began after a long silence. “You already have a date…?”

“Yeah. She’s pretty excited about it. She—” Sirius was cut off when he thought he heard Bellatrix’s laugh. No. She was in school. It must have been the wind. Or something.

“Is something wrong?”

“No…thought I heard Bella-bitch.”

“That…isn’t one of your better insults…she has the same footsteps that you do. She cornered me in the library one time. I would have much rather seen your face…”

“Aw I’m touched!”

              Remus punched his shoulder before Sirius laughed more. He was happy hearing that Remus wanted to see him. For a moment, Sirius paused before he pressed his lips against Remus’s cheek. It was a simple gesture but Remus paused as he was walking and a pink blush spread across his cheeks.

              “Why…Why did you do that?” Remus stuttered slightly as he asked the question.

“I’m just…It’s…uh…”

              Sirius looked down for a moment. Why did he kiss Remus? He just…wanted to. Yeah, Sirius had a crush on his friend. It was a small crush. No. It wasn’t. It was a huge crush and he just kissed Remus’s cheek. Oh no. Oh no…

              “Friendly gesture…?” Remus asked quietly.

“Yeah. I mean I’m usually overly touchy with James. So it isn’t that big a deal for me.”

“Have people ever thought you two were gay?”

“Oh James is so infatuated with Lily that people know we aren’t gay.”

              Remus seemed saddened hearing that but he always seemed saddened or muted so it wasn’t an unusual expression for him. Their conversation died off once they reached the creaky old house that Remus called home. Sirius watched as Remus walked inside the house and he was about to turn away when he saw Remus look over his shoulder.

              “You aren’t going back to school are you?”

“Nah, I was gonna go hang out at the park or something…”

“You can come in if you want…I don’t mind…”

              Sirius grinned and had to fight the urge to run into the house. He crossed the threshold before walking inside Remus’s house. He’d only been in this house once before when he went to go visit Remus after his mother locked him out of the house. This was different though. He had gone with James then. Now he was alone with Remus.

              “Do you want anything to eat? I think we have pizza or something.”

“Pizza sounds good…” Sirius grinned as he followed Remus into the kitchen.

              The kitchen was rather small but it was nice. Sirius got a vintage sort of vibe from it and it just seemed so utterly Remus. The entire house seemed to fit Remus’s personality. A little broken, a little beat up, small and warm and inviting. He loved it. He loved Remus. Wait… He was pulled from his thoughts by Remus handing him a piece of pizza. Sirius smiled gratefully but he felt his cheeks begin to heat up and turn a light pink color.

              “Do you want anything to drink?”

“Tea would be nice.”

“Alright,” Remus said as he walked over to grab two mugs from the cabinet.

              Sirius got distracted again as he looked around. The wallpaper was peeling in areas and the floor creaked under his feet. He wondered how Remus could handle that now that he knew how sensitive the boy’s hearing was. Every time the wind would blow, the house would creak again and get colder. There wasn’t very much heat in the house and Sirius couldn’t help but notice how bundled up Remus looked in his sweater. He noticed how he shivered slightly whenever another gust of wind would shake the old house. He continued to look around when a flash of movement caught his eyes. Remus had just poured a clear liquid into his own tea and quickly hid the bottle before meeting Sirius’s gaze.

              “Remus, what did you just do?”

“Uh…nothing…”

“You put something in your tea,” Sirius said, crossing his arms.

“No I didn’t.”

“Are you lying to me?”

“…No?” Remus replied, looking up with his big and innocent-looking eyes.

“Really. You sure?”

“Yeah- No…” Remus finally gave up and looked down, ashamed.

“What did you put in your tea?”

“…” Remus muttered something unintelligible.

“What was that? We all don’t have wolf hearing.”

“Vodka.”

              His eyes widened. Had he heard Remus correctly? The sweet and cute Remus who was probably the most innocent boy in the world? Putting _vodka_ in his tea?

              “Why the hell are you spiking your tea?”

“How else am I supposed to deal with you and the others on a daily basis?” he shrugged.

“Here, put some in my tea,” Sirius demanded, holding out his tea.

“Sirius, you’re the one who puts a shitload of milk and sugar in it.”

“Okay, yeah, but add vodka to it.”

“You’re underage!”

“So are you!”

              Remus could not argue with Sirius after that so he poured some vodka into his mug as well. Sirius took a sip and nearly recoiled at the taste while Remus drank his spiked tea with a straight face. Once he finished his tea, he grabbed the bottle of vodka and took a large gulp like it was nothing. Sirius stared with a horrified expression before taking the bottle and taking a gulp. He nearly choked and spit it out causing Remus to burst out laughing.

              “You idiot!”

“Hey, you know I never back down from a challenge. Hey, wait, you hurt your head you shouldn’t be drinking.”

“Do I look like I care?”

“No but I care about you.”

“...fine I’ll stop. At least with the vodka. Cause I got whiskey.”

“Don’t make me call James!”

“Oh I’m so scared! You’re gonna call James on me!”

              There was a pause before Sirius began to chase after Remus around the house. Despite Remus being about as athletic as a rock, the boy could move pretty quickly. It must have been his wolf reflexes but he would turn corners in the old home on a dime. He let out a loud laugh that sent an odd feeling throughout Sirius’s body. He loved that laugh and he wanted to hear it more. Eventually, Remus grew tired and out of breath. Sirius took the opportunity to pounce on Remus and give him a gigantic hug. They went crashing to the floor.

              “Sirius! Watch my head! Don’t wanna injure me more.”

“Oh, yeah…you alright?”

“Never better.”

              Sirius felt something come over him as he stared down at Remus. The boy underneath of him was the definition of beauty. His white scars created constellations with his freckles. His fluffy and curly brown hair was tousled so that strands fell across his face. His chest was heaving with breathless giggles and his lips were curled into the biggest smile Sirius had ever seen. He couldn’t help himself. He leaned down and suddenly the whole world stopped.

              Sirius had pressed his lips to Remus’s. They were kissing.


	12. Crushing and Crushed

              Remus could not believe what was happening right now. He was kissing Sirius Black. He was _kissing_ Sirius Black. He was almost frozen in place when he felt Sirius’s lips against his own. Like all time had completely stopped. This wasn’t at all like he imagined Sirius’s lips to feel. That boy bit his lips so much that he thought Sirius’s lips would be rough and chapped but they were actually extremely soft and they tasted really nice. Remus also imagined himself being a better kisser than this. He had no idea what he was doing. Was there a book on kissing? Classes? Was it an instinctual thing that Remus didn’t inherit? Despite his inexperience, when he felt Sirius begin to pull away he reached up to pull Sirius closer.

              Sirius seemed surprised by this motion but he leaned in anyway, kissing Remus more. Remus figured he’d just go along with it. He felt gentle hands cup his cheeks and thumbs travel along the thin scars that lined his face. It was almost like Remus’s hands had a mind of their own as they tangled themselves up in Sirius’s hair. Oh this was nice. This was better than any of Remus’s fantasies ever could hope to be.

              They broke away after what seemed like an eternity and Remus stare up at Sirius. There was a pause before they both realized what they had done and broke apart. Remus scrambled away from Sirius while the other cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck. Oh no. Oh no… this was what Remus was afraid of happening. Their friendship would break apart. He ruined everything. He curled his knees to his chest and stared over at his soon-to-be ex-friend. It was ages before anyone said anything.

              “So…um…”

“Y-Yeah…?”

              Their conversation died almost as quickly as it began, if you could even call it a conversation. Remus hated this. He hated this silence, this awkwardness. It was eating him up inside. Sirius had a date to Yule Ball, they’d probably end up dating, and he would be alone with only memories of this stupid kiss. He couldn’t bear the thought of Sirius kissing anyone else.

              “Um…Remus…are you okay…I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

“Don’t apologize…”

“I didn’t mean to, you just looked so…and I couldn’t help it, I was spurred by the moment…”

“Sirius-”

“And now you probably hate me…”

“Sirius!”

              Sirius stopped and looked up at Remus with those puppy-dog eyes. Remus hated and loved them so much. But this kiss could ruin their friendship. If he wanted everything to go back to normal, he had to let Sirius go. His heart hurt at the thought. He had Sirius so close. So very close. He could abandon everything, admit his crush, and maybe even go in for another kiss. But he couldn’t. He had to sacrifice this.

              “I think…I put too much vodka in our tea,” Remus said quietly, regretting the statement already.

“We’ll probably forget this ever happened…” Sirius agreed, clearly lying just like Remus.

“And everything will be normal…”

              The mood had dropped and Remus felt it so physically. He blinked his eyes a bunch to hide the tears beginning to form in his eyes. Dammit, don’t cry. That’ll make it worse.

              “I should go…maybe hang out at the forest or chill at James’s.”

“Yeah…I’ll…I’ll see you tomorrow…”

“Yeah, Rem…see you tomorrow.”

              And just like that, Remus lost Sirius. His chest caved into itself and he hiccupped softly. Hiccups turned into sobs and tears began to roll down his cheeks. His shoulders shook up and down as he cried. Why did he have to do this? Why did he deny himself any chance of happiness? Was it his lycanthropy? Most likely. It influenced everything about his life didn’t it? He moved towns when they found out, pushed people away so they wouldn’t know, called himself a monster.

              He pushed himself up and staggered up the stairs to his room. As he passed the mirror he stopped to stare in the glass. His eyes were red and puffy from crying and tears still rolled down his cheeks. Remus gripped the dresser where the mirror was perched. He bared his teeth, his canines clearly sharper than normal. A low rumbling growl came from his throat and he clawed the wood dresser. The creature in the mirror was so different from the normally sweet-natured Remus. It startled Remus back to normal, renewing the tears from before.

              Remus was so absorbed in his tears that he didn’t hear his mother enter the room. He did, however, feel her arms around him and he instantly leaned into her gentle warmth. They didn’t say anything as Remus cried in her arms. Her hands gently rubbed his back and she sighed softly.

              “What happened? The school told me about your head…” she questioned, her voice soft and soothing.

“Um yeah… a friend brought me home…”

“The sweet boy who visited that one time?”

              He nodded at that, wondering if he should admit his feelings for Sirius. He decided to lie. Well, only partially lie.

“Yeah…he brought me home, and we talked for a bit…but I drove him away. I’m a monster. He shouldn’t have to have a monster for a friend.”

              His mother paused and she looked down at him. Remus held his breath waiting for her response. But she only hugged him tighter. Tears were forming in her eyes.

              “Oh sweetie, you shouldn’t push people away like that…you aren’t a monster.”

“But I _am_ a monster…I’m a werewolf! I have scars! I’m hideous!”

“Remus, you are the most beautiful boy I have ever seen.”

“No…I’m not.”

“Remus, you aren’t the wolf. The wolf is some awful curse a man placed on my precious little baby boy. You’re my sweetheart. You’re a precious sweetheart and I love you more than anything. I just want you to be happy.”

              Remus shuddered softly and he looked down at his feet sadly. He loved his mother dearly but he couldn’t help but feel awful still. She continued to hug him until his tears died down. When she pulled back she wiped his cheeks with the pad of her thumbs.

              “Why don’t we go start on dinner, okay?” she said, finally pulling away slightly.

“Okay…thank you, mum.”

              They walked downstairs, slowly. He wrapped his arms around her as they walked down to the kitchen. Remus couldn’t help but think of Sirius, though. Had he done the right thing? How was Sirius taking everything?

 

              Sirius was a mess as well. He made his way home, his least favorite place to be. Nobody was home, thankfully. He walked up to his room, cursing himself for kissing Remus like that. He hated himself at the moment. He ruined any chance he had with Remus. Dammit dammit dammit! He slammed his bedroom door shut and flopped on the bed. His eyes closed and he punched his pillow. He _ruined_ it!

              “I’m so fucking useless! I’m useless! I can pick up any girl I choose but not boys…There’s something wrong with me. Am I being gay wrong?”

              He groaned again as tears rolled down his pale cheeks. Stupid stupid stupid! After a moment he turned into his pillow to hide his tears from the nonexistent people in the room. Ugh why did he have to be this way?

              “Why did I have to be gay?”

              He heard footsteps and he panicked. Oh no… His parents shouldn’t have been home. And Regulus should still be studying at school. Wait, Regulus was sick that day. Shit… He looked up to see the wide and frightened eyes of his little brother.

              “You’re…”

“No! Regulus no!”

“But you said-!”

“No!” Sirius shouted more, now very shaky.

“You have to tell mom…” Regulus replied just as shaky.

“She will kill me, Reg, no!”

“She already thinks you are…”

“Yeah well, I quite like being alive. She’s already gotten physical. I don’t want more, she’s a crazy, sadistic bitch!”

“Don’t say that about her!”

              Sirius glared at his brother and sat up. Walburga seemed to like her newfound method of punishing Sirius. Slaps to the face were a quick way to shut him up. It certainly changed the dynamic. Of course, she rarely did it around her husband. Hitting children implied that they weren’t perfect. They should at least give off the illusion of perfection at all times. Well, most times. Even the calm and collected Orion Black would still lose his patience around his imperfect son. It was obvious who the favorite child was in the household. He knew that if Regulus spilled his secret he would face much worse.

              “Regulus…please, you have to promise me that you will never tell her. You want me alive, right?”

“You’re overreacting!”

“I wish I was!” Sirius could feel the tears falling down his face in panic.

              He imagined what his mother would do to him if she found out about his crush on Remus. Much worse than he had ever endured from her. So much worse. It wasn’t just the gay thing but he wasn’t supposed to have relations outside of his “class.” They hated the “mudbloods” as they put it. Mudbloods were people not like them, the lower class, people like Remus. He almost shuddered thinking about what his parents would do to him. Regulus noticed how distressed Sirius was and sighed softly.

              “You’ll have to tell her eventually…but I won’t tell her if it makes you this upset.”

“Yeah…it…nothing will come of it.” Sirius wiped away his tears, feeling worn out and very upset, “I’m heading over to James’s…you have to vow not to tell mother while I’m away.”

“I promise I won’t tell her while you’re away. I’m going back to bed, I still feel sick. I’ll leave my window open for you to climb into.”

              Sirius gave a slight nod at that. He quickly climbed out of the room and broke into a run once he reached the ground. When he reached James’s house, he knocked on the door almost rapidly. Euphemia Potter opened the door and called for her son almost instantly. It wasn’t long before James pulled Sirius up to his room. There, Sirius told his friend about what had happened earlier.

              “You kissed him?” James gasped excitedly, “You finally kissed him!”

“No! He pushed me away! Well…we both pushed away. No…I was the one who pushed away… I was scared. Imagine what Walburga will do to me…”

“You should come live here with me, Siri…” he mumbled gently, placing his hand on Sirius’s shoulder.

“Stop bringing it up. Can we deal with the Remus problem first?” Sirius snapped back.

“What’s the problem? That you pushed away from Remus? You should tell him exactly how you feel. Tell him that you like him.”

“It can’t be that simple.”

“Sure it can!”

“James, you profess your undying love to Lily every day and she still doesn’t want to kiss you.”

“Remus is different. Did he like the kiss?”

              Sirius thought back to the way Remus pulled him closer. He thought of the way Remus’s lips caressed his own. He thought of the way Remus thread his fingers through his hair gently. Maybe Remus hadn’t hated it. Maybe Remus wanted more. Maybe he even liked him back…until he ruined it.

              “Gah! I ruined everything. I’m going to the Yule Ball with Dorcas and Remus doesn’t have a date. Remus is jealous of Dorcas! Remus wanted to kiss me! He pulled me closer! He likes me and I ruined everything!”

“No you haven’t. You just have to win him back. Besides, Dorcas isn’t really your date.”

“But he doesn’t know that!”

“He will though…Ugh…Come here, you idiot. Let me hug you.”

              James didn’t give him a choice in the matter as he pulled Sirius into a hug. Sirius, of course, melted into the touch. They had a brotherly relationship that had no boundaries. While he was still torn up over Remus, James was still there for him. For once, James was the one giving advice on crushes and not Sirius.

              “I’m sure everything will work out…I promise,” James said soothingly to Sirius.

              Sirius found a little comfort in James’s words but there was no way that his relationship with Remus would ever be the same. He had to do his best to salvage their friendship, even if he had to sacrifice his romantic feelings for Remus. Dammit. This was the worst day of his life. Sirius began to cry in James’s embrace. He would be going to the Yule Ball to watch Remus dance with someone else. Or he’d go and be alone and be miserable.

              He didn’t know if he could handle it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for not updating sooner! I will try to write more especially because I am excited for the next couple chapters. Big things are happening! Thank you for keeping up with my irregular updates!


	13. Last-Minute Changes

              Remus and Sirius danced around the issue of their kiss and they tried to make things go back to normal but smiles were greeted with pangs in their chests. Laughs were met with sad gazes and forced smiles. It was eating at both of them but they couldn’t talk about their feelings for each other. How could they? Sirius lived in a very bigoted household that hated him while Remus already felt like a monster. Even if they wanted to be in a relationship, there were so many factors keeping them apart that it would just end in pain. At least, that’s what Remus believed.

              He spent most of the days before Yule Ball away from the Marauders. He couldn’t bear to be near Sirius. It just hurt too much to see him. Sometimes, when Remus daydreamed in class, he could almost feel soft lips against his own. And he’d be back in his house, and when Sirius would say that they should forget the kiss, he would tell him his feelings and Sirius would kiss him again. And everything would be perfect. But then he would snap back to reality. And Sirius would be sat looking distant and his heart would break all over again. If this is what heartbreak felt like, then Remus never wanted to fall in love again.

              It was a few days before the Yule Ball and Remus still lacked a date. James had surprised everyone by asking Marlene to the ball, and they were even more surprised after she agreed. Lily was the most surprised and angered by this development for whatever reason. She ended up agreeing to go with Severus but Remus had a feeling it was out of spite. It seemed like he was the only person without a date. What was he going to do?

              On the one hand he could ask that cute boy from his chemistry class. Wait, Remus, that’s gay. And he probably wasn’t even interested in boys anyway. He could also ask out the girl from his history class, but she probably already had a date and she didn’t even talk to Remus that much. He could go stag, but that would be awkward and lead to an awkward evening by the punch bowl. Maybe he would just stay home alone again. Like he always did.

              He walked down the emptying hallways after classes had ended. After a while, he, Alice and Frank had begun to hang out behind the school. They weren’t close to him like the Marauders were but they were still goof friends. Frank had even gained the courage to ask Alice to the ball. At least they were happy. And Remus was happy for them.

              When he reached the small clearing behind the school, he wasn’t greeted with a happy scene. Instead, he was greeted with a horrific one. Bellatrix was standing over Frank and Alice, cackling maniacally. Remus always thought the moment before turning into a wolf was the scariest thing in the world but seeing the look that Bellatrix had plastered to her face almost made the werewolf seem like a puppy. Her eyes were widened and if her mouth was open any more, it would have unhinged like a snake’s. Beneath her were a terrified Alice and a nearly unconscious Frank. W-Were legs supposed to bend like that?

              “Aw, little Frank can’t protect his little girlfriend! You two are so pathetic.”

“Get away Bellatrix! Leave us alone!” Alice nearly shrieked.

“What are you gonna do if I don’t? Call Dumbledore? McGonagall? You know I won’t let you get that far. Maybe I’ll break your legs too so that you can’t dance in your pretty dress, or better yet, not even go to the ball!”

              Feeling a bit of courage surge in him, Remus stepped forward. He cleared his throat and Bellatrix turned toward him with her crazy eyes and wide smile. She almost looked like the Cheshire cat with her wide grin. Fear bubbled up within Remus but he swallowed it and narrowed his eyes toward Bellatrix. He wasn’t afraid of her. She was just a really creepy girl who was sadistic and mean and a bully. His nose had healed from when she had burned it but he could feel the pain creep back in to his skin.

              “Oh! Little Remmy coming to save the two love birds.”

“Leave them alone, Bellatrix.” Remus’s voice came out calm and steady.

“Or what?” She brandished her silver ring as she posed the question.

“You don’t want to find out.”

              That was when she went to strike. The punch that connected with his skin burned and he stifled a scream. He never learned how to fight. Sirius tried to teach him but he could never even stand correctly, let alone punch correctly. But he managed to hold his own. He blocked her attacks long enough for Alice to help Frank get to his feet and limp to safety. Bellatrix was just about to punch him again when a hand caught her punch. Remus looked up to see Sirius standing in between him and Bellatrix.

              He easily pushed her away and barked at her to leave. She took off laughing, causing goosebumps to rise on Remus’s skin. She was just so creepy. Remus looked back up at Sirius and the way his jaw set squarely in anger. His stormy grey eyes glared after her until she was gone from their sight. Then the tense face melted into a gentler one and Remus relaxed.

              “We need to get Frank to the—“

“James is driving them to the hospital.”

“R-Right…”

              They were silent again and Remus hated it. Why couldn’t they joke around like they used to? Why did every moment alone end up like this? Sirius barely spoke to him since the kiss and when he did it was sharp and gruff responses.

              “Siri?”

“What,” he said, snapping his head in Remus’s direction.

“Can we talk?”

“We are talking.”

“You know what I mean, about the kiss.”

“I really don’t—“

“I know you don’t but we haven’t been the same since and I miss you. You don’t talk to me anymore and it hurts. I feel like I’ve lost my best friend and I don’t even feel like a Marauder anymore. You’ve been there for me since I moved here and I don’t want a kiss to be the reason I lose the first best friend I’ve had in years.”

“Remus I—“

“And it hurts to see you act so gruff around me…” Remus’s breath was speeding up and his eyes were watering. “One moment you were kissing me and my world felt right and then the next minute you were scrambling away from me, looking horrified. I know I’m a monster. And I get that nobody wants to be friends with a monster…”

“Remus—!”

“I don’t want our kiss to mean nothing, I don’t want to lose you, Sirius! I care about you and miss hanging out with you…” Oh no he was rambling, “You and James and Peter were the best things to ever happen to me and I love you and—“

              He stopped talking. Tears were rolling down his cheeks and his shoulders were shaking. Sirius’s hands were against his shoulders, gripping them tightly, like they never wanted to let go. Their eyes met, puffy ones gazing into the deep grey sky that inhabited Sirius’s irises. His calloused hands trailed up his shoulders, ghosted along his neck, before gently cupping Remus’s face. They were silent, but it was far from uncomfortable now. Remus had never felt more at home than in Sirius’s arms.

              “You’re crying…” Sirius finally mumbled as he leaned in close.

“No shit, Sherlock…” Remus managed to choke out.

              At first they were completely silent. But then they started to laugh a bit before Sirius rest his forehead against Remus’s, eyes never leaving the other as he did so. The only sound they could hear was their breathing. Sirius slowly guided Remus’s chin up before slowly pressing their lips together. It was so gentle, far from perfect but close enough. Time stood still and they were the only two people left in the universe.

              When they finally broke apart, Sirius wiped away Remus’s tears with the pads of his thumbs. His eyes were watering a bit too but he blinked the tears away. Remus had never felt more in love than he did now. That was when Sirius began to speak.

              “I love you too, Remus. I was just…scared. I’ve never been with anyone like you. Imagine if old Walburga found out about me, loving a boy? She’d kill me. But dammit I’d rather be dead than see you hurting anymore.”

“You love me back?” Remus questioned, eyes wide.  

“I literally just kissed you for the second time.”

“I’m just making sure. You’re the first person that I’ve ever kissed you know.”

“Mind if I give you some more practice?”

“Be my guest…”

              They kissed again, and again, and again, until they heard footsteps and they quickly made their way out of the clearing. James came and picked them up before taking them to the hospital to visit Frank. His leg had been broken but was otherwise okay. He’d have to miss school a few days, and most likely couldn’t go to the ball.

              “Alice, you should find another date, I know how excited you were to go, and you got that beautiful dress…” Frank said softly as he hugged Alice close.

“No, I’ll stay with you. I was only excited because you were taking me.”

“But…I’m not worth it, you really should go…You deserve everything, even a night of fun.”

“Frank…You’re my date, I’ll be alone.”

              Remus piped up after a moment and he looked at his friend.

              “You could come and hang with us at least for a little bit. And then you can leave early and spend the rest of the evening with Frank… And who knows, maybe Frank can go to the ball anyway. And if he does, we can all hang out.”

              The two seemed happy with that idea and were both pleased by it. The Yule Ball was beginning to sound like a lot of fun now. After a while of chatting and carrying on, the Marauders left the hospital and walked down the streets. Remus and Sirius trailed behind James and Peter. Remus felt slender fingers take ahold of his own before intertwining.

              And he never wanted to let go.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! and crying. I have a con soon so I won't be uploading for at least another week unless I get some surge of inspiration. I hope you enjoyed!


	14. The Yule Ball Begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHH I'm back for like a weekend. School is a thing and I'm v busy with everything. So updates will be extremely irregular but here's a chapter!

 

              Sirius stood inside James’s bedroom, checking himself out in the mirror. Tonight was the Yule Ball and he was really nervous. The great Sirius Black was actually nervous. He had a plan that he hadn’t shared with anyone, not even James. It was a small surprise for Remus, but he wanted to ask Remus out and make everything official. At some point in the night, he and Remus would sneak behind the school and have their moment alone.

              He checked his watch and quickly knocked on the door to the bathroom. James was _still_ trying to fix his rat’s nest of hair but he could never get it to lay flat. Sirius didn’t have that problem, his long black hair always seemed to frame his face perfectly at all times, even when it wasn’t brushed. Naturally, this left James feeling very irritated whenever they had to go anywhere nice because he always looked like he was fresh off of a roller coaster. Part of Sirius really just wanted James to accept the fact that his hair would never lay flat and just give up on making it look nice.

              When James wouldn’t come out of the bathroom, Sirius groaned and walked back to the mirror. He really liked how he looked in his suit, it really was tailored to his body. But he missed his leather jacket and would be wearing it the first chance he got. Despite looking extremely hot in his suit, it seemed way too formal for the rebellious Sirius Black. He would look so much more comfortable in his leather jacket and ripped jeans.

              James was still in the bathroom after Sirius adjusted his suit for like the eighteenth time. That was it, he was not going to be late because his friend couldn’t fix his damn hair.

              “James! We have to go pick up Remus!”

“I know!”

“Then hurry it up before I come in there!”

“I need one more second!”

“You said that twenty minutes ago!”

“Shut up!”

              Sirius rolled his eyes at that. He fiddled with the lock on the door before successfully entering the bathroom. He was amazed at what he saw. James Potter with his hair lying flat for the first time in forever. The widest grin spread across Sirius’s face when he saw his best friend looking extremely attractive. Lily sure would be missing out.

              “Bloody hell, you look frickin amazing, James! What happened?” Sirius asked, genuinely excited to see his friend looking so suave.

“It’s…You know how my dad invents haircare products…I finally caved and used one.”

“You look like a respectable young man for once! No one is gonna recognize you without your bird’s nest! Maybe you could trick Lily into actually falling for you. You know, because now you don’t look like a twat.”

“Oh shut up!” James exclaimed, punching Sirius’s shoulder. “I see you looking nice for Remus.”

“No, it’s for Dorcas.”

“Dorcas’s real date is Marlene, we’re only doing this so their parents don’t suspect anything, remember?”

“Yeah, I remember. But I’m not looking this sexy for Remus. He already finds me sexy enough. I’m looking this sexy just to piss you off.”

              That earned another punch from James before they walked downstairs. Mrs. Potter fussed over them, like any mother would, and took what seemed like thousands of photos of the boys before finally letting the boys go off to the ball. She gave each of them a tight hug and wished them a great time at the ball. It was a small gesture to James, but Sirius couldn’t help but feel his heart swell. Sometimes, Euphemia Potter acted more like Sirius’s mother than his own mother. He gave her a small wave before running out the door with James. Soon they were driving off to Remus’s house.

-

              Remus stared at himself in the bathroom mirror. He didn’t think he looked terrible in his suit, but he wasn’t exactly pleased with his appearance. His suit was old and it didn’t quite fit him right. If he had a fuller body, maybe it would have fit him properly. He also had nasty scars on his face from his last full moon. They were ugly, especially the ones that crossed over his nose. Slowly, his fingers reached up and he traced over the marks. They were hideous. Some of them even ached as he touched them.

              Why did he have to be so pitiful looking? Remus wondered what he would look like without all the scars and with a healthy body. Maybe he would’ve been attractive or athletic. Maybe he wouldn’t have had to move every time his secret was revealed. He’d never known life without his lycanthropy and he craved just a taste of life without his condition. A night of being a normal teenager.

              He let out a puff of air. He didn’t want to look ugly at his first school dance but he wasn’t really sure of what to do. Then his eyes caught his mother’s makeup bag. His fingers clasped the small container of concealer and he started to cover up the marks all over his face. It had been about ten minutes when he felt arms wrap around his waist.

              Startled, Remus turned around and stared up at the face of Sirius. His heart instantly fluttered and he leaned back into his arms. Ever since they had their moment behind the school, their relationship had been progressing. Nothing had been made official but they found themselves spending more time alone. They found fingers interlocked and lips brushing against each other. It was really nice to be able to show affection to each other without holding as much back.

              Speaking of affection, Sirius’s lips had found their way to Remus’s cheek.

              “Hey Moony,” Sirius mumbled, centimeters from his ears.

“Moony? Still calling me weird nicknames, are we?”

“It’s cute.”

“Whatever you say,” Remus said, rolling his eyes.

“Hey… What’s this on your face?” Sirius asked as he turned Remus around to face him.

“N-Nothing! Just…It’s concealer. For my scars.”

“Why? You don’t need to cover them up.”

“But…they’re gross- Hey! What are you doing?!” Remus exclaimed as Sirius brought his hands up to wipe away the makeup.

              Remus tried to dodge his hands but he found himself without concealer. What the hell was Sirius on about? He shot him a huffy glare after Sirius was finished.

              “That took me awhile to do…”

“Well…it wasn’t very good…It needs to blend in with your face better. Also your mother has a different skin tone than you do. So it wasn’t going to blend. Look. You have scars and it’s horrible that someone as pretty as you could have been marked up…but you don’t need to hide the scars. If anything they make you badass looking.”

              Remus stared at him in shock. That was incredibly sweet. How could he have gained the affections of someone so perfect? He grabbed Sirius by the collar and pulled him into a gentle kiss. When they broke apart, Remus couldn’t help but give Sirius the biggest smile in the world.

              “You know, sometimes you can be really sweet.”

“Only sometimes?” Sirius smirked, wildly.

“When I first met you, you were sitting in Dumbledore’s office for a prank you pulled.”

“That seems like forever ago.”

“It’s only been like four months.”

“Yeah. So? It feels like forever.”

              They shared another kiss before exiting the bathroom. Naturally, they went through the eight thousand picture ritual with Mrs. Lupin before they went out to James’s car. They picked up Peter on the way to the ball, and were soon pulling up to the front of the school where their “dates” were waiting on them. Dorcas and Marlene held onto Sirius’s and James’s arms for about 4 seconds before they eventually found themselves in each other’s arms. And Alice and Remus stood apart as they talked to each other.

              Frank’s leg was pretty messed up so he wouldn’t be able to dance at the ball, so he suggested Remus take her so that she could have a good time. Despite dancing with her friends, and being very happy she could attend the ball, she seemed to be a little disappointed that her real date couldn’t show up. Of course, the Marauder’s had foreseen this, so they had a little surprise planned for their friend.

              The Marauders left the dance floor for a few minutes before escorting a limping Frank to Alice. They thought it would be nice to surprise her and bring Frank to her. He was on crutches but that didn’t stop the girl from throwing her arms around Frank and kissing him. Having Frank be a surprise for Alice was all James’s idea. He would let Alice believe that Frank couldn’t go and then have him show up when she least expected it. He said it would make their moment so much sweeter, and boy was he right.

              The Yule Ball continued and the energy seemed so much happier. Everything seemed right. Sure, the Marauders were all stag but they were glad they could bring happiness to their friends. They cared about their friends a lot. They would do anything to help them out, especially after Alice and Frank had been terrorized by Bellatrix. Of course, the Marauders expected their deeds to go unnoticed, but some students were incredibly perceptive.

              This student was Lily, who had approached Remus when he broke away from the group to get punch. She gently prodded his arm to get his attention.

              “That thing you did for Alice was really sweet, y’know. She’s been telling me all about your surprise for her.”

“Yeah. James said it would be nice to surprise her.”

“Wait,” Lily demanded, eyes now very wide. “That was James’s idea?”

“Uh…yeah. James came up with everything for that. Alice is our friend, so naturally we’d help her out.”

“And…Marlene and Dorcas, I saw them walk in with James and Sirius.”

“Yep. They did that so that their parents wouldn’t find out about them.”

              Lily looked over at James who was currently goofing off with Sirius while dancing. Remus could have sworn she saw her eyes soften for a bit.

              “Y’know…” Remus started hesitantly, “he isn’t a complete idiot. He really is nice.”

“That doesn’t stop him from being irritating.”

“Yeah. But he’s really sweet. Trust me.”

              She sighed but she nodded as if she were considering something. Remus got called back to his friends so he waved goodbye to Lily before returning. The evening wore on, and they spent most of it dancing and carrying on. Eventually a slow song began to play. Everyone started finding partners. Peter asked a shy girl to dance, and, surprisingly, Lily stormed up to James and aggressively asked him to dance.

              That left Remus and Sirius back by the wall, watching everyone. Sirius slowly took Remus’s hand and led him out of the building. They could still hear the music when they found a small clearing behind the school. Sirius rest his hands on Remus’s waist and Remus snaked his arms around Sirius’s neck. For a while, they were totally silent. But then Sirius began to hum along, softly and gently. He rest his forehead against Remus’s. All Remus could do was stare into his eyes.

              When the song ended, Sirius finally spoke up.

              “I brought something for you…” he whispered softly.

“What is it?”

              Sirius reached into his pockets and pulled out a necklace. It was a gold chain with a pendant in the shape of the sun. It was quite beautiful and Remus stared at it in wonder.

              “Sirius…this looks so expensive.”

“Don’t worry about the price. I wanted to buy it for you. And I got you a sun, because I know how much you love sunrises and how much you hate the moon.”

“But…Sirius…It’s…It’s beautiful…”

“Not as beautiful as you though. I got you this…as sort of a proposal…I know it’s cheesy to do this…but…will you be my boyfriend?”

              Instead of answering, Remus tackled Sirius in the tightest of hugs before pulling him into a sweet kiss. At first Sirius was surprised, but then he relaxed and kissed him back. It was a sweet and long kiss that could have lasted forever. But soon they broke apart so that they could breathe again. Remus took his necklace and put it on. He tucked the pendant in his shirt so that it rest against his chest. It almost felt warm.

              “You are the cheesiest guy I have ever met,” Remus mumbled breathlessly.

“Yeah, but I’m cute. And you’re my boyfriend.”

“You are…You are my cute boyfriend.”

              They leaned up to kiss again, when they heard a gasp on the other side of the clearing.

 

 


End file.
